Gaiamara

This is your life... and it's ending one minute at a time

2011-07-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

Wow, I shock myself with the regular over-expectation of my capacity to do shit. I'm all like, "Hells yeah, I'm gonna do this amazing thing and that even more amazing thing and after that I'll do something mind-blowingly amazing..." and fail to achieve any of it. Occasionally there'll be something mildly interesting that I'll achieve, but not so much amazing.

What is it with our "First-World" society's propensity to berate ourselves for our inability to live up to impossible standards? Sometimes it's just great that we stay sane in a world of madness. Well, some definition of sane.

What is it that has created this gigantic need to be super-human and feeds our fear of inadequacy? Is it the consumerist-driven, advertising media convincing us that we'll be incredible if we buy specific products? Is it movies and television shows proclaiming a ridiculous perception of what life "really is"? Is it our upbringing, our friends, our schooling?

I think it's all of these things, to be honest. There has been a steady drive, since post-war baby-booming, towards living life a specific way - the well-known "American Dream" spread to more than just one nation. Then the excesses of the 80's sent those "meagre" concepts sky-rocketing to ridiculous heights. The "live large" kind of glamorous life was disseminated on a wider scale than it had been before and enforced expectations of what we ought to aim for in our careers.

It wasn't so much the "save for the future" lifestyle that existed before, it was more a "show everyone how important you are with expensive things" kind of life. Not that these concepts never existed before, just never on such a vast scale. The extravagant life was propagated among print media, music, movies, and tv shows in ways that had never been attempted before. Advertising was big business before, but it became even more "no-holds-barred" in the 80's as sex was used to promote products and psychological understandings of what made consumers pay attention to advertising became more widely used.

Now, decades on, all of the concepts have been moulded together to achieve an ever-increasing share margin in big business and, with the extreme consumerist culture we've created, this has become the way we think in our lives. Everything needs to be bigger and better and newer than it was before. Every year, kid's parties get more ridiculous and extravagant; people look to buy bigger and fancier homes; drive faster and shinier cars; have tv's the size of walls - and work ourselves to death to get all of these things. At what point will our consumption implode and leave us in the realisation that it was all a façade?

I wonder this. I also wonder at my ability to resist it to a degree. I can't pretend that I'm not "glamoured" by it all from time to time, but I'm grateful that I'm aware of the effect peers, family, the media and advertising have on my desire to "fit-in" and "live-the-dream". Still, it's hard not to expect more from myself.

Feets Are Cold

2011-06-02T17:07:00.001-07:00

So I was dressing myself down for not blogging in ages when I remembered that I have a phone app for Blogger! It's the blog you write when it's too much effort to blog.

Cos pressing keys with my finger tips is so exhausting and time consuming... yeah.

Expect to see more inane drivel on here now. Well, I imagine it will be of the same low quality as before, just with more spelling mistakes. Yay for you!

I'm a giver, is what I am...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Please, sir, can I have some more?

2011-03-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

A while between posts, I know. How's life with all of you? I'm great, thanks for asking.

So what's new in the life of a Perth witch and yogi? Well, rather a lot, actually.

I've begun work with a crystal wholesaler so I'm getting back in touch with that interesting aspect of magick that I'd neglected for a while. It's amusing as I'd started using crystals with healing again so I find it somewhat auspicious that I get to work in the field and learn more about them at this time. Oh, and meeting some seriously off-the-planet people is hilarious. Pretty sure some of them have "beamed down" very recently, too.

I've also re-established my interests in energetic healing through a course on quantum touch. It's been a whole lot of fun re-connecting to the healer within and helping people to heal themselves. The raised energy state has also allowed me to connect more effectively with my guide, who has been trying to get through to me properly for years. Sorry... wasn't meaning to ignore you there. I was just, um, busy? Yeah... and let's be honest, you look a hell of a lot like Jesus. Couldn't really take you all that seriously right away.

(Except my guide wears sandals. I know, right?)

So the healing has moved me to work in a magickal place called The Sacred Grove Spiritual Centre in Fremantle. The centre is run by beautiful people and boasts a fully organic kitchen with vegan and raw food options. Suffice to say, I tend to spend a good proportion of my day eating amazing food when I'm there. Which is what one ought to be doing on a Sunday!

How can anyone turn down something this delicious which is also healthy?

I'm also getting myself organised to run some yoga classes from the centre as well as more classes at the Beacon Yoga Centre. Also planning a yoga course for students who want to delve a little deeper. It's going to be a bit busy but these are all things that I love doing, so I think it'll work itself out. Or I'll go insane and find a nice padded cell somewhere.

I'm also studying and preparing for my second degree witchery. It's going to be a pretty intense experience and I'm super excited about it, especially because it encourages me to look into tantric magick more deeply that I have before. For those unfamiliar with tantric magick, it's not about sex magick or yoga postures. It's about finding and forging one's spiritual self - it's where the term "kundalini" was derived from as were many Western Ceremonial practices.

Oh, nearly forgot. Just because I'm not doing nearly enough things with my days, I've recently joined a band. Yep, I'm in over-achiever mode this year. We'll see how long it lasts...

Just a final note: this blog is likely to morph into a forum to present many of the magickal discoveries that I uncover in my expeditions through Eastern Occult systems. Although, it will still hold my own personal whimsical style and probably some random comments related to my life. Just thought I'd give you fair warning :)

Smooches

Of Spawning and Other Subjects...

2011-01-03T18:40:00.000-08:00

I think there is something inherently wrong with my feminine make-up. I just don't think they put me together in the shop quite correctly. I really don't find babies at all, remotely fascinating and have zero interest in holding them. I've tried for years to care but I just really don't.

I look at friends I've known for years (from High School days and beyond) in photos on Facebook sitting together holding their babies with big, self-satisfied smiles on their faces and it makes me want to hurl. It doesn't even have to be an old school friend sitting with another school friend and, clearly, comparing their children that does it to me. It can simply be people putting up pictures of their infant children in every conceivable act, as though each moment of that child's life is worthy of documenting, and showing the Facebook world.

I'll go to people's houses and they EXPECT me to want to hold the baby. I never, ever offer to do so but somehow the squirming mass of blankets and flesh is thrust into my unwilling arms and I'm left there having to tell the proud mother how beautiful I think her progeny is. Not that I actually mean any of it very often. Normally I find babies pretty unattractive.

What is incredibly strange is that I am a mother myself. I had a baby that I had to hold and feed and change. I liked that baby. He was a pretty cute little thing, if incredibly scrawny, and I could look at him without the usual boredom that overtakes me when I look at babies.

In light of this, you would think that this experience would change my perception of tiny humans. But no. I still find them completely uninteresting and mildly repugnant to hold.

Perhaps it's that I don't hold the act of baby-making in the highest possible esteem. I am of the belief that we have so many important skills and abilities that to focus them all on the creation of family (which I'm not saying isn't important, but isn't all there is to life) is to risk missing out on so much.

I've seen the sadness in some older women that comes with spending the majority of your adult life on your family's needs and realising, when it seems too late to do anything different and the family have left the "nest", that they are hollow shells of people with nothing for themselves. It's not that this is what they actually are, it's that they believe it which makes me incredibly sad. I think I can see this possible future in the faces of my friends and I worry for them.

Still, babies... blahhhhhhhh. Pretty sure my "lady senses" are broken.

I'm Poly-site-orous...

2010-12-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

Been a while between posts, I know. I'm sorry. I've been seeing other websites. I know, you thought we were exclusive - I'm sorry to break that misconception. I'm not a one-site kind of girl.

Okay, I do admit I've been seeing Facebook rather a lot. Oh, and Twitter. Well, it's just that they're very shiny and flashy and don't expect much from me. No, I'm not saying that you're needy... just... well, a little high-maintenance, I guess. But you're great. No really.

Look, it's not going to go the same way as Livejournal. No, I'm not blogging there again. Much. I just pop in from time to time to see how it's going.

You and I have a long way to go yet. I love you. I really do. I just love some other sites about as much.

What can I say? I'm poly-site-orous. It's a condition.

Moving Times

2010-11-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

So we did the big move this week. It wasn't as harrowing as I'd expected it to be. I'd say that was mostly owing to the fact that we had several of our family and friends helping with their trailers and utes and 4WDs. Still, how we managed to move everything in under 4 hours is beyond my reckoning.

The week has been spent unpacking boxes, cleaning the last place, figuring out which is the best cupboard to put the mountains of crap that we have (sooooo much cupboard space - makes me happy in the pants), and getting all the utilities and minor issues sorted. But, it seems to have been mostly arranged. Except for the blasted internet. I'm still having to use a mobile broadband while I arrange for decent broadband that doesn't constantly drop-out.

IT
MAKES
ME
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......

However, if I just stop being a 'tard about it then I'm sure it will sort itself out. Or, I will go postal in the buildings of the company (Telstra) that "provides" the internet infrastructure... of course, for that to be relevant I'll have to fly to India. Hmmm... I could make that happen.

On a good note, the house is awesome! Lovin' it 'til it can't take no more.

Think before you speak... or type, as the case may be

2010-11-10T07:34:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine posted this and I found it really poignant. For those of us who don't suffer from mental illness it's sometimes quite difficult to understand why those who do act the way they do. For anyone looking for an interesting take on how families of sufferers cope then read Dawn French's autobiography, "Dear Fatty". She had to cope with the suicide of her father so it's an interesting insight.

"I am so angry right now. It's one thing when complete strangers are ignorant and horrible, but when you have to deal with these traits in your own friends, it's almost unbearable. One of my friends posted this as her status update on facebook:

" And yet ANOTHER sucide jumper onto train tracks. So selfish and rude :( "
and her friends proceeded to vehemently agree with her and exclaim over how dumb and awful these people were for trying to get attention. I can't believe that in this day and age people would be so ignorant of mental health issues to think that suicide is just selfish martyrdom. Have these people not even considered the possibility that some people live in such intolerable anguish for so many years, despite seeking all the help they can find, that death is the only way they can imagine finding relief? Do they really think there are hundreds of people out there just deciding it would be great for shits and giggles to get themselves crushed to death by a train?

Yes, it hurts others when a person kills themselves. It hurts family and friends and people you don't even know. But I'm yet to meet a depressed individual who hasn't thought "I'd kill myself if it wasn't going to be so harmful to the people around me". Sadly, this thought is usually first and foremost in the suicidal person's mind. And yet their lives are so full of pain that they can see no other way out. By choosing to die, the person has considered the pain they will cause and decided that it's still the best thing to do.

It upsets me enormously that people don't realise that when you have a genuine mental illness, a few sessions with a counselor don't make you better. No matter how much therapy you get, no matter how much support you have, no matter what medications you've tried, there will still be times when everything around you fades into meaninglessness, when your own body feels like it's filled with poison, when you feel nothing but disgust at yourself and your situation, when you would tear your heart out with your bare hands if it would ease the pain. Suicide is never an easy choice. It is never a nasty, horrible thing to do. It is a terrifying last resort to a life of desperation.

Hearing this ignorance coming from my own friends makes me want to never speak to them again. Have they forgotten I've attempted suicide myself? Do they never listen when I talk about the people I know who are suffering?

I'm disgusted."

[From http://nekolalia.livejournal.com/]

Music That Moves

2010-11-07T06:45:00.000-08:00

I'm fairly certain that there's at least one song for everyone that triggers an emotional response no matter how they're feeling at the time. I have several of them, with more accumulating as the years roll along.

One that has made my heart ache for a very long time is Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You". It's a beautiful song about (at least I think) unrequited love and the longing for a person who isn't within reach. It's incredibly beautiful and quite haunting, but there's something in Hope Sandoval's voice that just breaks my heart every time. It hurts to hear it, but when it's finished I want to go through it all again.

If you have any songs that do this for you I'd love to hear about them. Alternatively, you could tell me how this song made you feel. I'm curious to know :)

Thanks Swamiji!

2010-11-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Life is a funny old thing. I first began seriously practicing yoga at the Beacon Yoga Centre (Sivananda Ashram) and felt a real affinity with the place. Especially the picture of the gentle-eyed man that smiled benignly over all the participants in the classes at the hall. For some reason I felt as though I knew this man, who passed from this life when I was 3, and his smiling face.

As the years have moved along, I've grown accustomed to Swamiji watching over me. I like to think he's giving me advice as I teach classes, supporting me when I'm feeling less than yogic. There've been times when I'm sure the inspiration for my class has come from Swami, where I'll pull out poses or meditations that I haven't really practiced or heard before. Or I'll be incredibly stressed or upset but as soon as I enter the hall and see Swami's picture I feel calm and centred. Like he's giving me a big hug.

It's entirely probable that all of these things are fabrications of my mind. However, as Carl Jung emphasised in his work, the Collective Unconscious is something we can all tap into. Whether I can tap into thought-forms that were once Swamiji's or perhaps those of someone else, the source is irrelevant. The feeling and the outcome is what matters.

I'm glad to have a guide, imagined or otherwise, on this wonderful spiritual path. Thankyou, Swami, for everything you have given to myself and the rest of the Perth Yoga Community. Your legacy lives on.
Hari Om Tat Sat

Swami Sivananda on the left and Swami Venkatesananda on the right :)

Nacho-Faerie

2010-10-27T04:56:00.000-07:00

Do you have those days where you try to get many things done but, essentially, nothing seems to get done? I think I have whole months like this. It's incredibly frustrating. I honestly don't know where the time escapes to.

I like to think there's a little faerie who eats time like it's porridge. I think he's friggin' starving whenever he's around me. Maybe he ought to try some nachos for a change.

Seriously, faerie. EAT SOME NACHOS!

Hmmm.... Dishes or Yoga?

2010-10-20T05:44:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling less than Witchy of late and am determined to do something about it. I don't know if it's just me, but I do find my dedication to meditation and other spiritual practices waxes and wanes. And not even in tandem with the moon cycles - which would at least be worthy.

Why is it that we worry so much about the less significant things (such as housework and mind-numbing pursuits) when the best thing for us is our spiritual connection? Are the dishes going to explode while you take 20 minutes to meditate? I hardly think so. Will that TV show never be shown again if you do your yoga practice in that time? Hell no. Download the damn thing!

So, in that case, why do we put off what brings us joy and vitality? Are we so masochistic that we prefer to condemn ourselves to the mundane aspects of life only?

In saying that, there is still opportunity for spiritual connection in everyday life. Why not mentally expound upon the values and properties of water whilst doing those piles of dishes? Or enjoy the feel of earth between your fingers and the vibrancy of life as you weed the garden?

Why? Because we forget to stop and take stock. We forget that this existence doesn't rely solely on the payment of bills and completion of chores. There is an under-current of spiritual energy through all pursuits - admittedly, it's harder to see in some than in others - but it still exists. Wouldn't it be logical for us to tap into that and use it to enhance our own lives? Everything we touch and do and think is sacred because we (and all things around us) are sacred.

Let's attempt to remember this the next time we feel disconnected from our path. Oh, and how about we all give ourselves a little bit of extra "me" time... you know you deserve it, you magickal creature you ;-)

The Sky is Falling!

2010-10-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have to comment on this retardedness because it almost gave me a brain-haemorrhage yesterday just reading people's moronic posts about it. Yes, it was the 10th of the 10th 2010 yesterday... why does every New Age wannabe seem to think it's created some kind of bloody stargate or trans-dimensional universal upheaval?

I find the onus people put on numerical dates incredibly frustrating. They're just numbers, people! Sure, it's cool playing with numbers, having them align and surmising what the numerology of it all could mean, but they aren't going to change the manner in which the universe runs. We're running on a man-made system. Sure, it seems relatively accurate, this Gregorian calendar... except for the fact that we have to throw an extra day in every 4 years to make it all fit. Buuuuut, sure. Pretty accurate.

And, while I'm on the subject, this 2012 thing. Arrrrrrggggghhhhhh! Does the end of the Mayan Calendar actually mean that the world ends? Of course not! Was the 13th of August 3114 BC the day the Earth was created? Of course bloody not! But that's the day when the Mayan Calendar (according to Sir Eric Thompson's accurate and peer-verified calculations) is purported to have begun.

It's a record of epochs, much like the Yugas in Indian philosophy, and is simply a system of time that is given a long count. Modern-day Mayans don't consider the date significant and are greatly irritated at the way certain groups of Westerners have run with this stupid theory for monetary benefits. What happens at the end of the Mayan Calendar? It resets. Just like the end of any Calendar - you get a new one and it starts again.

We're going through the Millennium crap all over again. I'm not always a cynical person but one must employ logic to all things. Even to magickal and spiritual endeavours. It annoys me that one person, or a group of people, can say something with conviction, offer some pseudo-scientific explanations and all of a sudden people are reciting it like gospel. Discernment, people! Get some.

*N.B. I do not suggest that any of my lovely readers are this moronic. I know you're all wonderful and clever people. I'm simply referring to those humans in the world who haven't got the impetus to think for themselves.

Oooohhhhh, My Throat is on Fiiiiire....

2010-10-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

I've been ignoring my health for a fairly long time now and am suffering the consequences. Before now I suppose it wasn't sufficiently bad enough for me to do anything about it. Now it seems I have no choice but to pay attention. I just freakin' LOVE how the body will do that to you.

What am I talking about? Why, my constant throat infections. That's what. I am writing this at 1am on a Sunday night because sleeping is damn impossible with the pain that I'm in. Still, I've recognised that my throat chakra (vishuddhi, for the yogis out there) is quite clearly out-of-whack. Not that I didn't know this before, but I guess I'd hoped it would work itself out.

I came across this on a psychic site that I'm familiar with. Whilst I'm familiar with most of the aspects of the chakras as they relate to the physical (and non-physical bodies) I have never come across an explanation relating to the creation of abundance and one's profession. I found it to be rather intriguing and somewhat apt.

Throat Chakra

Generic Name:	Throat Chakra
Eastern Name:	Vishuddha
Location:	Throat
Color:	Sky Blue
Musical Note:	G
Crystals and Gemstones:	Lapis Lazuli, Aquamarine, Sodalite, Turquoise, Sapphire
Attributes:	Personal responsibility, creativity, communication, logic, and reason.
Blockage Symptoms:	Manifests in problems like laryngitis or sore throats, creative blocks, or general problems communicating with others. A block can also manifest as rigidity, prejudice, and an inability to accept other people's views.
Too Open:	Extremely chatty, arrogance, self-righteousness
Body:	Mental
Glandular Connection:	Thyroid and Parathyroids

"Special Notes: This chakra relates to our ability to take personal responsibility for our actions. A healthy and open throat chakra means that the person is no longer blaming others for his or her problems and can carry on with his or her life with full responsibility. This also is directly related to a person's ability to create abundance in his or her life. If a person takes responsibility, then he or she is far more apt to go out and create what he or she wants versus waiting or blaming others for what he or she doesn't have.

The back of this chakra is often referred to as the professional center and reflects a person's sense of self within his profession in relation to his peers and society. If the back of this chakra is open, this person is generally successful and challenges him- or herself to do his or her best. If it's blocked, this person will not reach her potential, blame others, and, despite her outward claim that she is doing her best, she inwardly knows this isn't true and has some hidden reason for her failure.

This chakra is also related to our process of communication. When we communicate, we express ourselves (either well or poorly) and can develop or inhibit our interactions with other people. If we have a healthy and open throat chakra, we communicate our feelings and thoughts clearly and can move from an issue, meaning that we can heal from our wounds and live life more fully. Those with a closed chakra will keep their feelings from being communicated and will tend to hold a negative outlook on life and harbor grudges."

I've decided that the logical thing to do would be to actually address this issue and work with my chakras in order to clear them and the blockages that I've developed within my life. I'm fairly certain that I'm not with-holding any unspoken words, so I don't believe that's the problem. Whilst I am certainly not the type to blame others for my dilemmas, I do know that I'm not reaching my full potential. I'm not actually cross with myself about this - I've had plenty to contend with and integrate into my life up until now and I accept that it has been a process - but I am ready and willing to change it now. I am ready to accept my path, in whatever form it will be, and to learn to trust myself and be honest with myself so that I may be the best person that I can be!

Wow... I sound like some self-help fruit-loop on Oprah. Greaaaaaaaat.

Goddess, help me!

Just a warning... the following post is a bit graphic...

2010-09-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

So I took the kittens to get sterilised today. I felt SO bad taking them in knowing the horrors that awaited the tiny little darlings. Their eyes looking at me with trust will haunt me until the end of my days....

Nah... not really. I completely agree with the concept of sterilising animals. In a perfect world people would be responsible for their animals and no creature would ever be treated inhumanely. Of course, our world is warped as fuck so it's a lucky break for most domestic creatures to be treated with love and care as opposed to complete disdain.

This leads into my ethical choices as a vegan. I choose not to eat animals or their products not because I think eating animals is inherently wrong, but because I find the treatment of our domestic livestock repugnant. These are creatures who feel pain and suffer as much as we do. How is it okay to treat them as commodities?

You might think being a vegetarian is an ethically sound choice, but did you ever stop to wonder what happens to all the male cows that are born to the milk-producing heifers? Milk-producing cows, most commonly the Jersey variety, are not considered suitable for meat production. As such, male Jersey calves are killed at birth. I met a guy who worked on a dairy farm and had to shoot hundreds of male calves. He said that it still haunts him.

How is the genocide of an entire sex of a breed of animal okay in this "P.C" society? I don't understand. We're horrified at delinquent children who viciously kill a cat but we don't seem to be concerned at the same treatment of animals that we commonly eat.

I conducted an environmental study at a pork abattoir some years ago and was "treated" to a tour of the facilities. Luckily I was already vegetarian or I'd've quickly become one. The pigs were corralled in pens directly outside the kill-floor and could quite easily hear the screaming of the animals that were going into the gas-chamber. Not only this, but pigs have a very keen sense of smell (hence their use in locating truffles) and could smell the stench of blood and death awaiting them.

The pigs are herded into the gas chamber one at a time and gassed with carbon monoxide. This generally causes the pigs to be unconscious and then the abattoir workers can stab a sharp implement into the throat to bleed them out. Sometimes the pigs aren't unconscious. So they get stabbed through the throat and hung on a hook to die in complete cognition of what is going on.

This is a scene that frightens people in many horror movies. Imagine seeing it in real life happening to a living creature who is then passed through "burners" that scald the flesh and burn the hair off. If one of those pigs still happened to be clinging to life and it's senses at that point the pain would have been unbearable.

So next time you see an animal that is already designated in our society as "cute and fluffy" or worthy of humane treatment, spare a thought for the other animals that are, inadvertently, part of our lives. Shouldn't they be treated with as much respect?

(And, yes... I went with the cheap, cutesy pic. Could you shoot them?)

Don't even get me started on the environmental impact!

Wild Nature Survivor Guy...

2010-09-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

I was watching Sesame Street this morning and was treated to one of the funniest episodes I've seen ever. Jimmy Fallon was "Wild Nature Survivor Guy". A Bear Grylls-esque character who lands on Sesame Street via helicopter to "see if he has what it takes to survive in the middle of nature, completely alone!"

Wild Nature Survivor Guy

Seriously, check this clip out because it is a damn funny parody.

3D or not 3D, that is the question...

2010-09-06T00:55:00.000-07:00

There appears to be a trend towards making children's cartoons in 3D. The Magic Roundabout and Thomas the Tank Engine got the 3D treatment and now, one of my very favourite cartoons from my childhood, Babar has gone 3D. It horrifies me because the charm that the old series had is lost in the shininess of this new enterprise. I'm not the type to be against change for the sake of nostalgia - there are many series that have been spruced up for the better - but the new series seem to be soul-less things without class or the necessary whimsy that a good cartoon requires.

The Magic Roundabout in 3D

Thomas the Tank Engine 3D

Babar and the Adventures of Badou

I like 3D but I really hope it doesn't replace everything. I don't see the point. One of my friends is an animator and he and his team entered an animation competition that required a short animation be completed in 48 hours. Pretty intense stuff. His team's 2D animation was brilliant - funny, well written and the storyboard was wonderful. It looked polished and was a complete story in itself. The animation that won was in 3D. It looked juvenile, there was no story (or lines for that matter) and segments were repeated to save on extra computer-generation of images. In short, it sucked. But they were the winners on the night.

I don't rate 3D for the sake of having 3D. There needs to be a reason for a movie or series to be in 3D. Otherwise it's like icing a mouldy cake. Looks pretty but leaves a bad taste and isn't remotely satisfying,

Wilmaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

2010-08-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate it when you have to evaluate aspects of your childhood from an adult's perspective? A child's perspective is untainted by the social politics and prejudices of our "modern" society. It's frightening to see how much that changes as the years progress.

I was watching The Flintstones the other day. I hadn't seen it since I was in my early teens. I was horrified. I had never picked up on the extreme "battle of the sexes" theme. All the episodes seem to hinge on Betty and Wilma being angry with Fred and Barney for one reason or another, or vice versa. They often overcome the issues but then the next episode it's straight back to "men vs women" and I begin to doze.

I was prepared for the outdated roles where men are "in charge" and earn the money, and the "weaker" women look after the children and do the housework - although, Wilma's work seemed a great deal harder than Fred's from what I saw. However, the yelling and general anger between the characters was shocking to me. I never grew up in a yelling household so it seems strange to have such things portrayed in cartoons. I hadn't realised the significant and inherent changes to children's television - and, yes, I happen to see a fair amount of children's viewing.

It's just disappointing when the memories of childhood are dashed by adult jadedness. I can't look at Fred as anything other than a misogynistic, small-minded, short-tempered brute. Then again... he is a cave-man. One must expect such things.

Surgical Fun-times!

2010-07-22T00:49:00.000-07:00

So, guess what? Go on... guess....

Okay, then I'll tell you. I just had cervical surgery and it was super-not-fun. Just in case you thought it might be like a disco. Tellin' it straight here.

I'm lucky enough to be a part of a Cervical Cancer Vaccination study that has developed a vaccine against certain strains of the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), which is responsible for around 80% of cervical cancers. I'm pretty sure that I was given a placebo... see, it's a double-blind study - which means that the patient and the researchers don't actually know who is given the placebo and who is given the vaccine. From here, the researchers monitor the cervix and any side-effects by taking blood-work, conducting surveys of the participants health and activities, and regular pap-smears.

Via one of these pap-smears the doctors discovered some abnormal cells. So I was sent off to a fancy gynaecologist and had a biopsy which was sent to America for testing - apparently there is no lab closer to Australia for such things. Odd, hey? Anyhow, I digress. It came back showing pre-cancerous cells so they called me in to have treatment.

I'm so very grateful for it. I mean, I'm the sort of person who forgets to do things. There is no way I would have remembered regular pap-smears if I wasn't part of a study. Conveniently, all of my treatment is paid for by the study and someone else reminds me when to go to what. Had I not had all of these wonderful options I may have been very sick in a few years/months time.

So, even though it was a bit painful (needles into the cervix is actually really hurty), I'm missing a chunk of my cervix as big as my thumbnail, and I won't be having sex for 2-3 weeks *sigh* I am exceedingly grateful for modern science. Life is too big an adventure to finish it early!

Mintox Post of Mega-Rad Proportions

2010-07-16T02:04:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have epic phrases that you think ought to be printed on t-shirts? I do. I'm always hearing or saying things for which I think, "Damn, that would sell as a t-shirt..." when, in all reality, it probably wouldn't.

For a while there, I tried to bring back words from my childhood. Wonderful catch-phrases like, "Mintox"; "Wicked"; "Chill"; "Rad"; "Scha-wing!", "Not" (generally employed after a sentence to cancel the intention); "Sweet"; "Mega"; "No way/way"; "Step-off" and "Whack".

And let's not forget the spectacular TV and Movie-inspired pearlers like, "Don't Scully me!"; "We're not worthy"; "Squeezin' the Ju-uice"; "As IF!" and Ren and Stimpy's "Happy Happy Joy Joy".

For some unknown reason, only a few of these caught on. I can't possibly fathom why.

This is my personal catch-phrase and I think I need this t-shirt:

I'm a REAL Vampire!

2010-07-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

Just thought I'd post one of my friend's animations that was created for the "48 Hour Animation Challenge". I think they did a pretty good job considering the time constraints! Hope you all like it ^_^

Open and Shut

2010-07-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate those days where you think you've got a handle on something and you're so damn proud of yourself for it. Then later on, realise that you were quite wrong. You don't know what the hell you're doing and you're not sure how to fix it. This comic reminds me of that happy time before you realise how much you've over-estimated things lol.

I tend to find these situations relate entirely to my uni life... odd that.

Spy vs Spy - Shopping Mall Style

2010-07-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

Another snippet of Failbook awesome! I couldn't resist sharing this with you =D

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How I wish I'd thought of such a wonderful thing myself!!!

You gotta love the "do-it-yourself" sites...

2010-07-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

1.Teneal
	buy teneal mugs, tshirts and magnets a girl thats extremely hot & sexy. gets EVERY guy ! and everyone is jealous of her & her large ass. guy: wow look at that girls ass. girl: mhmm thats teneal with her big ass. teneal thats big ass guy by skuck90210 Jun 24, 2010

Apparently I have a big arse... thanks Urban Dictionary!
I suspect there is some delightful skank out there masquerading as a "Teneal" - might be time to change my name.

FAIL. Just FAIL.

2010-07-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm sick with flu, yet again, and have been trying to distract myself from the ickness by becoming obsessed with Failbook. For some reason, observing the stupidity of others makes me feel marginally better. Oh, and the laughter certainly helps.

Honestly, how can you not feel superior when there are people who post brilliant statuses like this:

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Or laugh with absolute gems like this:

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Ah Failbook... you complete me.

Motivation? What's that?

2010-06-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

So, I caved and got myself a Twitter account. "Why?" you might ask. Well, I've recently started a network to connect Yoga people and am trying to find ways of getting the word out there. I figured Twitter would be an interesting way to get people to find me and follow the crap that I do online. I know - sounds thrilling doesn't it?

But that's not the only reason. Yes. I have more than one thought at a time... it's rare for blondes.

(Or no thoughts....)

I also intend to get my Yoga business up and running with some real vigour, and I figure that having a Twitter account isn't going to hurt. It's a big ask, as I am the worst for starting something and not finishing it, but I really need to get this thing happening. Especially as I have to finish my Children's Yoga Teacher Training which requires me to teach a number of kids classes. I think I'd be okay at it but there's a part of me that fears the kids going utterly mental.

Yep. It's a definite possibility.

"Well done. Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring your daughter to work' day is the perfect time to have her tested."

2010-06-22T00:58:00.000-07:00

So I've been playing Portal lately and have to admit that I'm a little bit loving it. It's so much fun and there are fewer things shooting at me to overload my senses than other games, which is nice. It's more of a work-out for the brain than for the fingers.

I banned myself from games for a pretty long time - only permitting myself to play the simple stuff that's on everyone's computers. I was a pretty major gamer when I was younger and I'd use it as an extreme form of procrastination. To the point where I wouldn't do my assignments or any study at all (books were also a pretty effective procrastination device). Hence, my choice in banning myself from all "fun" games.

I seriously LOVED these games.

It was a shame, though, as I really love the opportunity to shoot bad guys, kick monsters in the face, and essentially do things that can't be done in reality. Luckily, I have a better handle on my priorities these days and I can avoid the myriad pitfalls that held me back in the past. I hope.

Happy Solstice!

2010-06-21T00:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Winter Solstice, all you Southern Hemisphere peeps (and Happy Summer Solstice to those in the North)! It's a rather auspicious Yule, given the sunny day we're having in Perth. It's sheer bliss.

My coven had our Yule celebrations on Saturday night and it was an absolute blast. We were lucky enough to share the event with some other pagans and pagan-friendlies, so it was a sizeable group of us who sat down to eat the substantial fare that we'd all contributed to. "Substantial" being the operative word.

It has started me thinking, though, "Where is the year heading for me?" Yule is considered by many Pagans to be the beginning of the year. The point at which the Wheel begins it's turn again. So what plans must I lay for the year ahead? I think I'd best focus on one major plan as I seriously doubt my ability to maintain focus for an extended length of time.

Considering I haven't done all that much with the generic "New Year" I feel I probably ought to get my act together now. So, here begins my quest to achieve! First on the list: getting my yoga teaching plans sorted. I really need to run a bunch more classes and get some kind of system happening... which means actually running as a business. Sigh. Darn all this being an adult and stuff.

I'll let you know how I go with it....

This is my kind of t-shirt :-P

Sunday, Sunday...

2010-06-13T00:53:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate those Sunday mornings when some inconsiderate person calls you at too early a time in respect to the previous night's activities? It's a friggin' Sunday for Pete's sake! No one is supposed to call before midday unless there's a death or serious accident. Today has been such a day for me and I swear I could beat that person to death with their own arm that I'd torn off in a fit of rage. Then there'd be some death and/or serious accidents...

[Hee hee, this pic is everything my mind says but cannot express through my face. Linkage]

It's not so much that they called, it's that I can't get back to sleep now. I only have two days of the week in which I have the opportunity to sleep-in past 5.20am, and Saturdays tend to have important things on so that scraps them. Thus, Sunday is my day of chill. However, after a Saturday that involved an awesome naturopatic, vegan cooking class during the day and a drum and bass gig (Shapeshifter for any curious punters) that ran until 3am, I'm in need of a Sunday of zombie-dom. I prefer a little more than 5 hours of sleep on a Sunday for ultimate functionality...

Argh, the cats are currently clawing at my bedroom door in an effort to eat their way through to me. Le sigh. Time to be annoyed by kittens...

I see you... oh wait, no I don't

2010-06-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

I wear glasses. It's not something I'm ashamed of; in fact, I rather like the way they look. I've never had a concern as to whether they have a negative affect upon my appearance - it seems that people are rather fond of the "sexy-librarian" look. What I do find increasingly frustrating is the need to constantly clean them.

For those who don't suffer from poor sight, it's like looking through a dirty car windscreen but much closer up. To the point where you actually forget that you're looking through smudges and dust and all kinds of crap. Then all of a sudden you notice a spec of dirt on the lens and you remove them - finding, to your horror, the full extent of the filth. Honestly, I wonder how it is that I can actually make out shapes some days.

Most infuriating of all is wearing glasses at the movies. When looking at a bright screen whilst sitting in the dark it seems that the smudges and marks on your lenses are 300 times worse than normal. You spend most of the movie trying to clean them well enough that you don't have to deal with the pesky streaks across the face and muscles of a 20-foot Jake Gyllenhall - nothing worse than that.

Contacts are useful, but they do dry out and irritate the eyes. I was at AC/DC this year and having a great time. Jumping up and down, singing at the top of my lungs - when all of a sudden one of my contacts fell out onto the floor. I looked down at the mud and empty alcohol cups littering the ground and thought, "Damn... ain't no way I'm putting anything from there back in my eye." I watched the rest of the concert with my glasses on, holding them onto my head as I jumped to see Angus rip some smokin' hot solos. Pretty annoying when they steamed up.

Only other option? Laser surgery. However, I'm a little more reluctant than most to have someone poke around in my eyes when they're still reasonably functional - not to mention the fact that they need to have been at a stable level for a significant period of time. Unfortunately, trying to see in the dark the other morning whilst wearing glasses proved to me that my eyes are still on the downward slide. Bugger.

So I guess I'm doomed to continue my constant attempts to find the perfect cleaning cloth/solution... it's like a quest that can never be fulfilled. I'm no Indiana Jones and the Cleaning Cloth of Awesome...

I'm just me :)

No... more... candy... PLEASE!!!!

2010-05-19T23:49:00.000-07:00

I had a bit of a bitch about this subject in my status on Facebook, but thought it was worthy enough to flesh-out into something more substantial...

What the hell is with all the music festivals these days? It's as though every man and his flea-bitten, three-legged dog is running a music fest and, somehow, bands agree to participate. I think it's the moola.

But seriously? Mutant Festivals unite! I remember a time when the only major music festival, which toured the country, in Australia was the Big Day Out. Now there are hundreds of festivals all around the country, not including the many smaller, local festivals. It's getting out of hand. How can a girl decide which festivals to go to when new ones keep popping up every week?

I feel like a fat kid in a very enticing candy store: I'm already stuffed full and have spent all my pocket-money on sherbet but, damn, I wants me some of THAT ONE! It's really very stressful. I don't know how I'll cope.

Who doesn't need a "Nipple-bra"?

2010-05-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

As I sit here in my room, contemplating the vagaries of life, the universe and all the other crap, I wonder... who the hell thought uncoated under-wire in bras was a good idea? Like, seriously? That shit pokes through the several threads of fabric that keep it from impaling your skin and you are in a world of irritation and pain.

Of course, as one would expect, it happens at the most inopportune times so that you can achieve a completely adequate moronic look as you shift to release yourself from the stabby-stabby pain.

Perhaps a little like this one...

Which usually comes after the initial, unexpected jab of wire and you realise that your favourite bra is now your most hated.

Yes. It can turn just like that. One moment your bra is your most adored item of clothing, the next it is out on the scrap-heap of life. Fighting it out, "bare-knuckle" style, with the de-elasticated underwear and the holey socks to find a human to attach itself to. It's a hard life being a discarded garment.

(Because it's what every trashy-stripper needs after a night of pole-straddling. One can't always keep the tits up top)

So have a care about the way you treat your underwear. Bras have feelings too....

Albeit, angry feelings that result in wanting to stab you through the heart with parts of their anatomy.

Stupid under-wire.

When Birds Attack!

2010-05-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

Do you have those days where the most bizarre things happen all around you but you seem to be the only one who notices? I'm having that kind of day today.

For example, I was picnicking by a fairly dried-up lake (we haven't quite recovered from the Summer yet in Perth) which is currently populated by vast mats of maroon reeds that are inhabited by myriad Swallows (the bird, not the porn star... well, you never know - maybe she does live there). The countless tiny birds seem to draw the birds of prey in - namely the Wedge-tailed Eagles.

So I'm lying on the grass chatting to some friends as the kids run amok on the play equipment, and I gaze up into the clear blue sky and see an eagle wheeling in slow circles high above. I'm watching it in awe, this majestic creature riding the air currents. It's beauty and flight-pattern lulling me into a daze.

Then all of a sudden it goes into a dive. I think it's aiming for a swallow, but I'm looking in the potential direction of his speedy descent at the groups of ducks floating, unwittingly, upon the surface of the water puddles around the lake.

And I'm like:

and the ducks are like:

Okay, maybe they weren't as cute as this....

But still, ickle duckies! I couldn't bare to watch. I did though. And the most incredible thing occurred...

A couple of Willy Wagtails flew up and attacked the eagle, confusing it so much that it veered off-course and pulled a total "Wronski Feint" (yeah, I'm a Harry Potter geek), yanking itself back upwards. The Willy Wagtails used the eagle's confusion to skedaddle out of the line-of-fire - or beak-and-talons, in this case.

(Super-Willy!)

(Take that, evil fiend!)

The ducks were saved!!!

The eagle was thwarted... for now.

But the odd thing was that no one else noticed it. I'm all like, "Woah, dude! Did you see those teeny birds take on the Big Daddy?" and they're all like, "Ahhh... nuh"
And I'm all like, "Oh".

(Sad face)

So continued the day. Me noticing all the weird happenings in the world around us, and everyone else ignoring them. I guess I was just having that kind of day.

Why tuna? Why not salmon?

2010-04-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

So my brain seems to be throwing curve-balls at me lately (and I'm totally appropriating that term, because I don't entirely know what it means or anything about baseball really, but it feels adequate). I begin thinking one thing, only to end up on an entirely different tangent.

For instance, I went into the kitchen earlier today to make my son a sandwich, only to walk out of it carrying a collander and some gladwrap (cellophane food-wrap, for non-Aussies). What I intended to do with those things I can't entirely determine. Perhaps I was going to place the collander over my son's head as I proceeded to gladwrap his entire body and pretend he was a Space-man with a limited oxygen supply. Maybe I was planning to create some incredible sculpture using only a collander, gladwrap, toenail-clippings and my own hair... anything is possible.

Luckily I re-gained my wits before anything heinous had occurred.

But it's been like this all week long. Possibly longer. I'll go to do one thing and find myself doing something completely different. Hopefully it doesn't involve me spin-drying the kittens and feeding the dirty laundry. That wouldn't be super great. I think they may come out just a wee bit dead....

Suffice to say, productivity on all counts is kinda low. I keep going to pay bills online and find myself researching new ways to grow turnips. I know, I know.... who the hell grows turnips in this day and age, and isn't in a fairy-tale? No, not really. Everyone procrastinates on the net. But I think I've taken procrastination to new and unrealised heights.

You know it's pretty bad when you're reading updates on Facebook that are along the lines of, "I'm really looking forward to eating my tuna sandwich for lunch today. Mmm mmm..."

and then replying with things like, "So when is your lunch-break then? Before or after midday, and how do you find the timing affects your digestion?" or, my personal favourite, "Did you use butter or margarine, and what is your stance on the hydrogenated fats issue?" Yep. I am the procrastination Queen.

I'll help you caaaaarry oooooon....

2010-04-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here after less than 3 hours sleep and a massive night out thinking, "Why the hell am I not asleep?" One answer: headache. Mother-bitch-freakin'-death-to-your-nanna-the-whore kinda headache. And it's not as though I even have a hang-over to relate it to. Although I did have a rather epic night out.

Actually, epic doesn't even begin to describe it.

I went on a bit of a walking pub crawl with a friend and some of her mates, and we had some seriously good times. We started off at one of the lamer pubs where most of the blokes at the place were at least 20 years older than me (okay, I may be exaggerating). It just made me think of that Flight of Conchords song, "Too Many Dicks on the Dance-floor". Sooooo many old, manky dudes up in my junk...

From there we moved on to Tiger Lil's, which is a really lovely establishment, and were treated to some terrible DJ sets. However, the drinks were still good and the people I was with were fun so we made the most of it.

A little further down the road we came to the Belgian Beer Cafe, where they serve some of the most intriguing beers - my favourite, and very girly beer, being Cherry Beer. Damn it's tasty. Here I managed to chat up a very cute bouncer/chiropractor from Germany called Victor, and made some random friends whose names all started with 'T'. Yep, it was that kind of night.

We spent too long chatting to the 'T' girls, and didn't realise that our crew had already started making their way to Ambar - a nightclub where you get extra points for being a complete wanker. So my friend Cass and I began the epic walk to the joint, picking up some American lads along the way who were going to the same place.

I think I must've been in a pretty strange mood that night, or maybe I was just feeling overly obnoxious, because I did feel the need to yell song lyrics at random people on the street. It's just something I do from time to time. Suffice to say, I do believe the American boys were a little frightened of us.

Cooooould have been my chosen song to yell out: Pass That Dutch by Missy Elliot. Fave lyrics being, "Run for cover, Motherfucker!" replete with adequate interpretive dance. Yes. I might be certifiable.

We found our people at Wanker-Central and proceeded to pretend we liked the music by dancing like absolute tools. Which is fine. It is Ambar, afterall. I managed to charm Charlie the Bouncer, so I will have to see if I can get some free drinks next time... always thinking ahead.

Our final destination was Sin Nightclub - the home of goths, metal-heads, industrial fans and everyone else who doesn't quite fit into the regular clubbing scene. Damn, I love that place. This one guy was dressed as Edward Scissorhands and looked incredible. We danced with him for ages, mainly because he'd run his "Scissors" through our hair. It was ultra cool.

Some of the lads who were with us were a little shocked at the place. Let's just say that goths know how to do hair and make-up. The costumes are always my favourite part. But a couple of boys were from the country and weren't exactly used to the goth/industrial scene. Poor little poppets.

All in all it was a pretty great night. I think, because of my obvious insanity, I managed to make a whole lot of new friends (always in the ladies toilets. What's with that?). So there are a whole bunch of random people's names in my phone now. I think I'll leave them there for a while.

My favourite part was the impromptu sing-a-long in the street that we started. A guy was sitting on the stairs on the side of the road with his very drunk mate and it just triggered the song, "Lean On Me" in my mind. I couldn't stop myself from singing it at them. Of course the rest of the people with us joined in - I mean, who can resist the song? Then the people on the opposite side of the road added their renditions, as well as some interesting crew wandering up from the other end of the road. I found it sweet that strangers can be brought together through song. Aaaaawwwwwwww.

Peace to you beautiful people <3

Oh.... that Sleep Talkin' Man.... he rocks my world

2010-04-16T06:49:00.001-07:00

Is it wrong to be obsessed with a blog? I really, really am. I think I may need help.

Like, when you are continually posting quotes from it on people's Facebook pages.... I think it may be time for intervention.

But, seriously. How can I NOT post gems like:

"Hmm, linguini on the ceiling! It adds a certain texture. Interesting... Just don't use penne. Or those crappy twisty ones."

"Fly soup. Stir him in. It's the wings that get stuck in your teeth, though."

and who could resist re-posting this:

"My donkey. That's MY donkey. Get off my donkey! You know, you're not some superstar donkey jockey. Piss off."

and the epic:

"Snail fiddling is not an occupation I'd be proud of. You dirty fucker."

but don't forget:

"Hey, don't... don't say anything. Why don't you put it in an email, then I can ignore it at my pleasure."

Come on now... don't tell me you wouldn't do the same ;-)

"When did the lizard start talking? Someone tell me. Freaking the fucking shit out of me."

2010-04-14T23:19:00.001-07:00

OMGs!!! You guys absolutely HAVE to check this blog out... it's pure, unadulterated GOLD!!!!

http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/

Hope you all enjoy it as much as I am :)

xoxox

Kitty at my foot and I wanna touch it...

2010-04-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

It's been a pretty strange kind of week. I've been going hammer and tongs at my assignments and felt really hard-done by the world. Which is utterly pathetic. It's seriously not a big deal to get these stupid things out, it's just a negative mindset that I've created that prevents me from wanting to do it. But that's not the strange part.

To distract myself from the horror, I went out with a couple of girlfriends last night to a fun, retro kind of club called Deville's. It's a fabulous-looking "Hell Grotto", replete with sparkly cave interior, Gogo dancers and gigantically-breasted effigies of sexy-lady-devils. Not to mention great music from the 50's-80's. Pretty fun place to go, and very tasty cocktails to boot.

So we dolled ourselves up in our finest and hit the town. I have to say that the crowd has changed somewhat since I was there last. It seems to be a less-dapper bunch that frequent it now, judging by the crew there last night (although there might have been someone's party on that night - "Derro" themed, perhaps?). It was always a place that the Rockabilly and Pin-up-style crowd would hang at, but I think the rest of Perth have caught wind of it's awesomeness and "averaged" the place up.

I know, I sound bitchy. But it just seems a shame that the place you'd go to dress up doesn't seem to have the fancy anymore. Perhaps it was an off week.

Anyhow, we'd planned to go to the "Goth/Industrial/Metal/Electro" nightclub afterwards, called Sin, to dance up a storm. Little did we know it had been taken over by some kind of "Candi Rave" thing on. Not cool. So we went to the usual (Tr)Amplifier Bar to catch up with some friends.

Unfortunately there seems to have been a great many prostitutes out for a good time. Oh sorry, they just looked like prostitutes. My bad.

I am consistently horrified at what the 18 year olds think is worthy attire for a night on the town. One girl looked to be wearing a figure-hugging, low-cut jumper without any kind of underwear. If she leaned forward ever so slightly I could see her arse, a little further and I could basically be her gynecologist. Sure she had the body to pull it off, but she looked as though she was just killing time before the film crew for "Feral Beryl Does Cheryl" turned up.

Anyhow, after a long and convoluted evening/morning of crazy I arrived home at around 5.30am, opened the remote-controlled gates to our complex and proceeded to walk through. All of a sudden there were little "meow"-ing sounds all around me. I looked down to discover 4 kittens gamboling about my feet. The poor little darlings were cold and hungry so I brought them into the house for some food and a warm bed. There was no sight of a mother cat - and not for want of searching.

So now we are the proud parents to 4 little tiny kitties

Voltron

Steve

Clock-wise from top left: Voltron, Raven, Optimus and Steve

*mnawwwww*

It's been a pretty fun, kitten-filled day! But how freakin' random? Gods, what have you got planned for me next? Please say it's a round-the-world trip for myself and 15 of my closest friends!

[Thankyou to Miss Ethony for the lovely photographs of the kitties. I totally swiped them from her Facebook.... sorry :-P]

Stabby-stabby.... in uni's face

2010-04-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

This week has pretty much entailed me telling myself to do some uni work, and not really doing anything. It's a familiar cycle. It takes me days to get my head into the space where I can actually sit down and do an assignment - and generally I leave it so late that I don't have days. More like hours really...

Suffice to say, stuff ain't getting in on time.

And I seriously do not care.

Not one iota.

The care-factor in relation to this course is in the negatives right now... I'd say well below zero Kelvin. That's some frosty disgust.

It's not that the information is THAT boring. Oh, it's boring, but along the lines of "psycho-analytical-twaddle" boring, and less "legislative-mega-death" boring. I just really don't want to be studying right now.

"Why are you doing it?" you ask? (Once again, thanks for the well-placed questions). I'm doing this stupid post-grad teaching course because it seems likely that it will fit in with my son's schooling, and I'll be around for school holidays and the like. Plus science teachers are in short supply, so I'm pretty much assured a job.

A well-paid job, at that. Not the kind of pay I'd be getting in the environmental industry (which is substantial), but still pretty damn decent.

It's not that I don't like teaching. Teaching is pretty cool, and the kids are funny as. It's just the crap that I have to study in order to "understand" the kids and ensure they're getting the best opportunity to learn... which, as most teachers have told me, doesn't really apply in the real world.

Not surprising, really. Very little of what I learned at uni seems to apply to the real world. I think the lecturers have institutionalised themselves to the point that they no longer remember what it is to work in their industry. Except the small number who have managed to maintain businesses and/or are only at the uni part-time.

Argh... the constant mental battle that I have with myself when I'm studying isn't really worth the stress...

Maybe I'll just busk for a living.

I'm sure they're in need of my awesome singing and dancing-skills on the streets of Perth.

Pretzels, anyone?

2010-04-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, I imagine that's a pretty funny image right there... but no one would ever do that to themselves, right? Heh... how deluded you are.

One thing I've come to realise as a yoga teacher is that people really don't know their limitations - or if they're aware of them, they prefer to out-right ignore them. Point-in-case: [this wasn't one of my students, for the record] a guy turns up for an advanced yoga class. Says he's done a bit of yoga. Only injuries are a knee-reconstruction about 3 years ago, but that wouldn't be a problem now... moves into a fairly simple seated-forward-bend - tears the ligament in his knee.

How could this happen, you ask? (Thanks for the greatly obliging questions, by the way). Well, it really comes down to ego. Everyone likes to show-off, even if you're a wallflower of ninja-like proportions - people still like others to appreciate the things they can do.

Anyhow, this dude (let's call him Dumbass Dave, for the sake of simplicity) was trying to impress the girls around him and was not paying attention to the slow tearing of fairly rigid tissue in his leg. The initial indication for him ought to have been discomfort in his knee when straightening his leg... but Dumbass Dave's no pussy! He's played football and had tonnes of badass injuries. This is nothing.

Yep, frickin' genius.

Another situation occurred with an older gentleman, who shall be known to us as Moronic Marvin. Moronic Marvin likes to pretend that he's 30 years younger than he actually is. Why else would you do yoga? To keep limber and supple. Funny thing is though, he just ain't very limber. Might be due to his 1 and a half hour, weekly yoga class being a cleansing drop in the ocean of bad physical habits.

Moronic Marvin wanted to try the advanced postures, after all he'd been coming to classes for years now. He chose to ignore the rather impressively short hamstrings in his legs and the potential for nerves to pinch in his less-than-limber back. Suffice to say, Moronic Marvin got stuck. Yes. Much like the lady in the picture, only he wasn't sniffing his own arse. I actually had to (wo)man-handle him out of the position and get him to lie on his back for the rest of the class in the hopes the muscles in his back would stop seizing up.

I know. People are a danger to themselves.

But then, we at least get to laugh at the preposterous nature of these events :P

Hari Om Tat Sat

Don't blame it on the sunshine....

2010-04-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

Do you have days where you just want to run up to some random stranger and bust out some retardedly demented moves? No? Just me then... okay.

Perhaps it's a latent or mild form of terrets, but it makes me laugh uncontrollably to see the faces people make when you act uncharacteristically in comparison to the rest of the "normal" people. It could be an attention-seeking part of me that finds this appealing, but I just really like to break-up the monotony of the day by being a dickhead.

And it's not exactly hard to do. It's almost too natural...

For instance, I was in the shops the other day with my 5 year-old son and I was, shall we say, a little bored? We were wandering down the tinned food aisle and I just had an uncontrollable urge to do something ridiculous. So I thought it would amuse the both of us if I started disco dancing down the aisle to the sultry sounds of Meatloaf that were playing on the store-sound-system. I mean, why wouldn't I?

So there's myself and my child dancing among the jars of spaghetti sauce and tinned beans, laughing like idiots and having a grand time. I turn around and this old biddy who's ambled her way into the aisle is flat-out staring at us. I laugh and turn away, not really caring what she thinks because we're having fun and that's all that counts.

I'm sure she went home ranting to her husband, "Gerald, you'll never guess what I saw today in the shops! Two young hooligans doing some kind of ritual dance in front of the lima beans. What is this world coming to when you can't even get yourself a can of beans for your casserole without being harassed by some religious nutters? Should never have let those boat people land here...."

At least I provided her with a story to tell... or some sweet new dance moves ;-)

If I were a....

2010-04-05T08:05:00.000-07:00

Thankyou to the lovely Ethony for this one....

If I were a month, I’d be September.

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Saturday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be midnight.

If I were a planet, I’d be Mercury.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Sea horse.

If I were a direction, I’d be South.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a cabinet.

If I were a liquid, I’d be champagne.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be aventurine.

If I were a tree, I’d be a Birch.

If I were a tool, I’d be a censer.

If I were a flower, I’d be a lily.

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be overcast.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a harp.

If I were a color, I’d be aqua.

If I were an emotion, I’d be serene.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a strawberry.

If I were a sound, I’d be a bell.

If I were an element, I’d be earth.

If I were a car, I’d be a bicycle (:P).

If I were a food, I’d be sushi.

If I were a place, I’d be Switzerland.

If I were a material, I’d be velvet.

If I were a taste, I’d be sweet.

If I were a scent, I’d be fresh morning air.

If I were an object, I’d be a guitar.

If I were a body part, I’d be lips.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be calm.

If I were a song, I’d be 'Asleep in Perfection' - Augie March.

Augie March songs
Asleep In Perfection lyrics

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be knee-high boots.

Can anyone say Trojan Orgy? ;-)

2010-03-30T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm writing a blog when I ought to be doing my assignment... and your point is?

Uni is beginning to really get on my nerves. I mean, I've always been a reluctant student but never to this degree. I think a part of me has convinced myself that I hate the information that I'm reading - which isn't the truth. I just hate it right now. I might only dislike it tomorrow...

I've always been a little rebellious when it comes to following rules and set instructions. I just like to do my own thing the way I want. Not to say I was THAT employee in my work places... I've always been great at getting along with people, and possibly over-working. Yet, when it comes to study and setting my own goals I just don't have the drive. I am the most impressive procrastinator you could ever meet.

The saddest thing is that if I stick it out for a year and a half, I'll have finished this whole course (it'd be a year if I weren't so damn lazy) and I'll be a teacher. The excitement. I think it might be the prospect of being a teacher that disturbs me the most. Which is dumb.

I really enjoy teaching. I enjoy interacting with the teenagers. I don't enjoy the behind-the-scenes-politics that goes with it all. I was that kid in school that was friends with everyone and never really was aware of the out-and-out wars between people. Or the bitching that friends did about each other. Suffice to say, I was a pretty unobservant kid.

It's also fair to say that I'm still a pretty unobservant adult. As any of my friends can attest to: "Hey Teneal, did you see that gigantic purple donkey with a helicopter for a tail, tap-dancing on the back of a gigantic golden snail?"

"What? There's a donkey? Where?"

Yep. That's essentially me.

I could ignore a Trojan Horse being dragged into my driveway with utter alacrity. Not because I'm determined to remain ignorant, but because dealing with it is likely to be a right pain in the arse. I mean, what am I going to do with a bunch of suffocated soldiers and heaps of wood? Wait... there's bored soldiers in there? Hmmm.... it must be the full moon.

Shanghai Shenanigans

2010-03-24T07:41:00.001-07:00

Helloooooo lovely people!

I have just returned from China and had an amazing time. I ended up having to blog on Live Journal only, as China doesn't really like Blogger. You're all far too politically controversial, don't you know?

Anyhow, it was an epic journey because I began it in a less than... shall we say "sober" state? I was up to all kinds of debauchery before I left the country and, as a direct result, managed to forget a few things. Like my favourite jeans, my best mascara (I know, it was a terribly distressing situation), and... umm... the money I had taken out of the bank a few days before. A measley $2000. Yep. Genius.

Still, I'm a woman of ingenuity and class so I can overcome any dilemma. Pretty much. Leaving my phone in a Shanghai Hotel room.... less than brilliant. However, it is teaching me resourcefulness and reducing my reliance on technological devices. Or at least, that's what I'm telling myself.

Okay, what did I do in China...

I decided to walk to see Jing'an Temple

which was a ridiculously long walk. About 1 and a half - 2 hours to get there, but totally worth it.

Especially when I get to view the amazing statue of Kwan Yin. I can't really explain it to an accurate level, but the feeling you get when you are in the presence of Kwan Yin is serene. She really has a palpable aura of calm and I could feel my heart chakra opening whilst I was there. It was quite incredible.

What I remember most from it was that it felt like the energy I attribute to Gaia, but really localised to China. Essentially the same "mother-goddess" energy, but with a distinctly Chinese flavour. It did help me to feel more comfortable wandering about on my own in a country I knew very little about.

My friend, who studies in China, arrived on Thursday. So I finally had someone with me who could speak the language. Not that it helped a great deal lol.

Me doing my best creepy-person face.... this was a really lovely little park near the Hotel that we happened upon. Lots of older chinese people doing their daily exercises. One of which involved the elderly gentleman walking backwards around the path. I think he might have just forgotten how to walk forwards.
Liam laughing at some witty comment I made, I'm sure. I'm generally very witty.... check out the pretty trees in the background.

The beautiful park. I really ought to have tried to snap a shot of the old dude walking backwards... That was pure gold.

Shanghaian's really know how to brighten-up a city-scape... I mean, the entire 5km's or so of Nanjing Road had light-wrapped trees. It was pretty epic.

Nanjing Road is the main shopping road, and there are shops all the way along. Prada, Dior, Rolex, Burberry, Calvin Klein, Diesel, Snoopy... yes, really. There is a whole shop of Snoopy products. I was impressed. I didn't go in though, but now I kind of wish I had. However, after walking for a few hours straight I was less than keen to shop.

I managed to find my way back (this was on the Wednesday before Liam arrived, so I had no one to interpret for me), via the kind aid of a lovely old chinese man who helped me get on the right bus. Of course, I got off at the wrong stop - but the intention was lovely. Unfortunately, I did have to walk for another 2 hours.

Jing'an Temple with pretty, pretty lights...

Haibao (also known as Toothpaste Man - to Liam and I) conducting a symphony of fish and fairies.... yah huh. Makes perfect sense to me.

More of the prettiness. They sure know how to make the night interesting in Shanghai!

So, having trekked around a tiny proportion of Shanghai, studied kid's yoga in a 3-day intensive course, and eaten ridiculous amounts of food, I returned to Perth (with a short stop-over in KL) a little weary but mostly content :)

Oh Mr Sheen, how I love thee....

2010-02-27T23:02:00.000-08:00

Well, it's house-party time around here this afternoon. As I sit typing we have house-music blaring and my housemates are doing a massive end-of-summer-spring-clean. I makes me feel like getting my "clean" on...

I forgot how much fun it was to hang out with the girls and just be utter retards. There is nothing quite like girlfriends. They get you through the good times and the bad, all with a glass of wine and some chocolate - and copious cuddles. How great is that?

So I sit here and count myself lucky to have great friends, as the plastic machine-guns and rubber chickens fly through the air...

Yes. We have a lot of crap in this house lol!

And now.......

It's CLEANIN' TIME!!!!

Party-time!

2010-02-27T10:01:00.001-08:00

I've just finished baking cakes and wrapping pass-the-parcel for my son's birthday party tomorrow... and my GODS it's exhausting! I want my son to have a lovely day with his friends and family, but I do wonder how much stressing myself out to achieve this is actually to his benefit.

It's now 2am. I have wrapped 14 layers of the game. I have no idea how many children there are coming, and I have run out of wrapping paper. There are still 13 prizes to include, but I simply cannot be FUCKED caring. I know.... it brings out the potty-mouth in me.

Every birthday has been stressful, and I put it down to my mother's influence. She was (and still is) ever finicky about the way her parties and dinners run, getting really over-the-top with the preparations and food. Only to find, invariably, that she has over-catered or it doesn't run as she planned. It seems to have rubbed-off on me.

In all reality, a simple event or picnic would be far superior to the ridiculous cavalcade of engaging activities that parents so often plan for their children's parties. And how much of that is actually intended (albeit subconsciously) to impress other parents. "No one wants their child's friends to go home and tell their parents of what a bad job was done of a party..." I've heard a friend say. Which is ridiculous. It's about your kid's day, not about your own ego.

We so often allow ourselves to get caught up in the hype and society's expectations of what we ought to be doing as a parent, and forget what is most important to your child. Children, especially when young, love to play with their friends and family, eat party food, and get presents. It doesn't need to be a gigantic production.

Children prefer the simple to the extravagant. It's us adults who feel the need to prove our worth through external trappings.

You want feelings? Fuck you and the "feeling-pony" you rode in on! Yeah, sick-burn...

2010-02-22T08:51:00.000-08:00

Aaahhhh.... this week has been all about my mean skills in procrastination, and much less about my capacity to actually function like a normal human. I imagine it's in me.... I just wonder where it's hiding. Perhaps my left big toe?

I've been messing about with an assignment that isn't actually that hard, but bores the living crap out of me. It's like stabbing myself in the brain stem over and over every time I attempt to read the damn question. I don't think they realise how very DIFFICULT it is for me to write in a non-scientific style. "How do you 'feel' about X subject matter?", "In what way would you change your lesson plan... blah blah blah", or "How would you describe your teaching style?" are all questions that they ask which make me want to punch people in the face.

"How do I feel?" Bloody pissed off, actually. What the hell is it to you, lecturer? How can you give an unbiased mark to a subjective piece of work, Mr Smarty-pants? Riddle me that, biatch!

"What would you change in your lesson plan?" Well, it went smoothly, the kids didn't hate me and the teacher passed me... why should I bother to whinge over it to you? I already know what I did wrong, you don't need to rub my nose in it. Talk about sadistic.

"How would you describe your teaching style?" Fucking kick-arse! I rock so hard that there will be ballads written about the magnificent student teacher who came to visit for so short a week, dispensed miracles and magick, then left on a cloud that floated up to the sky... Sweet Jeebers! How am I supposed to know what my style is? It's not as though I watch myself, or actually know of any particular styles. I just started for Frigg's sake, of course it's going to suck balls until I figure out what the hell I'm doing!

Unfortunately, I can't just put this into my assignment/paper-of-the-damned/demon-spawn-in-written-form as it doesn't address the Unit Objectives. I'd like those poncy bitches to address my arse.

Back to school for me

2010-02-17T22:30:00.000-08:00

Soooooooo......

If you actually read this blog, you'll have noticed my absence from it. Or, you'll just have remembered that it exists when this post pops up on your feed... either way, I've been a very sporadic blogger lately. For this, I sincerely apologise. I shall endeavour to improve upon my laziness.

This year I'm back at uni. Why the torture, you ask? Well, it occurred to me a while ago that teaching secondary school would be a good idea when caring for a school-age child. In theory, I can work whilst he's schooling. In theory, that is... in reality, life ain't that easy.

But I digress...

I've been on school prac already, which was definitely an experience. I started at a Primary with 6 and 7 year olds, and have to admit that it was with some trepidation that I turned up there on the Monday. To my extreme surprise, I really enjoyed my time there. The kids were awesome and funny, and I was sad to leave at the end of the week. I was more exhausted than I've ever been in my life, but it certainly felt like I'd done something with my day. Much respect to any primary teachers out there!

The next week I was placed at a secondary school which, by many reports, had a particularly rough reputation. Once again with the trepidation...

However, I rocked up to the phys ed office (which is where I was allocated) and the first class was golf. Yes, golf. I was up on a second-storey driving range smacking the hell out of golf balls with a bunch of teenagers and having a blast! Apparently, I have a natural aptitude for golf - I know, it surprised the heck out of me.

The rest of the week consisted of me joining in all the phys ed classes, and sitting up the back of the health and phys ed theory classes learning new things - or things I'd forgotten about. The fitness training with the Year 10 girls nearly killed me lol. But it was a bunch of fun.

Our assessment for the week was for us to take a lesson, my fellow prac student and I. So we took a fitness circuit class with the Year 10s. I spent a few hours the night before picking out excellent tunes to exercise to, and the next day tested them on the girls. It was such a blast. They all loved the lesson and commended me for my music choices (apparently most of their normal teachers don't have good musical taste), even going so far as to ask us if we'd come back next week and teach them. I was really blown away.

It made me feel great to know that I'd formed a real connection with the students after only 5 days, and sporadic classes. You don't see the same kids every day in secondary school, so it felt really cool to know most of their names and have some kind of rapport.

So, I no longer feel trepidation when considering teaching children. It's not that much harder than teaching yoga to adults.... easier in some respects hehe.

Auld Lang Fucking Syne... should old grievances be forgot?

2010-01-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

I've finally gotten around to beginning the first post of 2010. I know. Yay me. How awesome am I?

But to all of you beautiful people out there, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! May this one be even better than the last.

And yet, is it really likely to be? Will it not be as difficult, in it's own way, as last year was? We'll think that things can't get worse and then, invariably, they do. "Why me?" we ask the sky in a high pitched screech. When in reality, we ought to ask, "For what reason do I need this lesson?"

I know, I know... it all sounds very New Age, fluffy bunny when I say it like that. Like, "The Universe only gives us what we can handle...", "God will see you through", "You need these lessons in life to progress on the karmic wheel", yada, yada, yada. But at the very core of these cliched, oft-preached-without-the-vaguest-modicum-of-understanding, feel-good maxims there is a miniscule grain of truth.

It's not because we need the "Universe" to show us how strong we are, it's because we need to understand our own strength for ourselves. Developing inner strength requires that we learn about the world and our interactions in it; not least, the manner in which we react to it. And it isn't in order for us to become these super-enlightened, holy beings who are separate from the world, but so that we can better understand our position in the world and how we fit into it. Most importantly, what we can return to it.

You may wonder why it is that my thoughts are upon this subject, which is a fair thing to wonder. I have been looking back over the difficulties of the last few years and reflecting upon the changes they have developed in my character, as well as the way that I perceive the world. At how I can look back at something that terrified me and made me a nervous wreck, and no longer perceive it as such. At the manner in which I interact with people now, less fearful of how they view me, and more comfortable with who I am.

Turning 30 was a pretty huge milestone for me - as much as I tried to deny it's influence over my sense of well-being. I was mildly terrified of being what I considered to be "old" and no longer in that golden era of the "20's", where life's mistakes could easily be rectified and repaired. The reality, of course, is that you make mistakes and repair mistakes throughout your life. Just because you wished you'd managed to do something that you didn't get to by a certain date, doesn't mean following through at a later date will give it any less worth. Or that starting over again means you'll be behind the rest of the pack. That you completed what you set out to do (even if it was only in the realm of thought) is far more important than the timeframe.

When I was reading cards for myself last year, during a rather significant change in my life, I would continually receive the Major Arcana card "Strength". I was under the impression that it was an intended directive for that short period of time, to do the task that needed to be done. However, in hindsight (that magickal tool), I realise it was mostly intended for all that came after and still continues. Because the initial leap requires strength, but it's never smooth sailing afterwards. You have the whole other side to deal with after that.

I'm not saying this to be pessimistic, or an asshole. It's just the way it is. If we had a life that was smooth-sailing all the way, then what would we really learn? How would we recognise the good times when there was nothing bad with which to compare it? And how much more do we appreciate it when things go right, after everything has been such a struggle up until that point.

Let's face it people: life is always going to be an up-hill battle. But the further up that mountain we climb, the better conditioned we are to deal with the next trek and level of altitude. And there are plenty of nice little cosy nooks in which to lay one's head from time to time. I just wonder what the view is like from the top...

I am a work in progress... much like a poorly constructed skyscraper

2009-11-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Hmm... been a fair while between posts, so I thought it would be best to drop a couple of lines now and work myself up to a full post later in the week.

So progress thus far:

Having lots of fun with cute boys - check
Watching plenty of great live music - check
Waking up at ridiculous hours for the sake of other's happiness - check
Eating far too much sugary food and then feeling sick - check
Not actually achieving the tasks that I set myself in a day, let alone a week - check
Attempting to maintain a sense of calm in the face of insanity, almost - check
Struggling with the pain that is Government agencies - check
Ready to go postal on their arses - check
Running myself ragged with all of the things I commit to - check
Losing my mind like a slow air-leak in a tyre - check
Booking myself in to a yoga course in China for March - check and check!

Yep. Life ain't so bad....

Oww, damn that sugar. Heart-burn central going on right here. So awesome.

Cheese, you can tempt me no longer!

2009-11-05T22:10:00.000-08:00

Well, today I am still sick but a whole less whingy. So, that's an improvement.

I've been thinking about what a bad vegan I have been of late. I am usually pretty good, but the last few months I've been relenting in regards to consuming products with egg, milk and honey in them and it's been making me feel very "ick". It's just not cricket. Or squash, for that matter.

So this is my official "getting-back-on-the-vegan-wagon" post. No longer shall I consume pizza coated in slimy cheese, or munch on cakes that make me feel dreadful. I shall, henceforth, eat only food that comes from plants and nothing more!

I say this as I munch on some jellybeans... well, the ingredients are derived from plants... okay, so they're kind of completely denatured and no longer considered food, but at least they're not from animals!

Okay, no more jellybeans.

Anyhow, I shall leave you with this thought... if the Care Bears live up in the clouds (clearly the upper stratosphere) how are they capable of breathing and why do they not need to acclimatise to the changes in air pressure when they come down to Earth? Keeping in mind that ony bacteria live at such high altitude.... hmmmm......

Care Bears - messing with the minds of children, and adults, since 1981!

Viruses, how I loathe thee. Let me count the ways....

2009-11-05T04:12:00.000-08:00

Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!

So sick today :(

And here I was thinking I'd gotten past all that illness crap.... seriously jumped the gun on that assumption. My little boy was sick earlier in the week with a flu, but it lasted all of 3 days. Here I am literally dying - DYING - and it's nearly friggin' Summer. DYING!

Okay, so I may be dramatising here somewhat.

Anyhow, I refuse to let the myriad illnesses stop me this year. I spent most of last year's Winter curled-up in bed with various colds and flus, and this year I am finally on the road to a new life.

SO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD STUPID VIRUSES!!! I REFUSE TO PLAY YOUR DEMENTED GAMES!!! I OWN YOU! I FUCKING OWN YOU!!!

That's right. I totally talk to barely animate life-forms (if you can call a virus a life-form, considering it is only capable of replicating when another life-form's RNA/DNA is within it). So they are basically usurpers of life.

Yep, evil. Plain evil. Never mind all the medical advances that certain viruses have played a part in....

... nope. Still evil.

Well, the colours exuding from my orifices certainly are...

Haha.... yes, I went there. Bam!

[That "Bam" was brought to you by the number 4 and the letter "Lee"....]

Wizards and Drums of the world - combine!!!

2009-10-30T14:36:00.000-07:00

Does the world get any more disturbing than this? I, for one, suspect not...

... Proceed with the lobotomy...

I need to Punch-Dance out my rage right now...

2009-10-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm having an obsessive "Hot Rod" day today... what of it?

Here are some true gems for your entertainment and amusement. Enjoy...

This dude is totally awesome. I can't even dance like this - and believe me, I've tried. It's skill and natural ability combined into awesomeness.

Okay, this requires some level of stupidity when it comes to comedy-appreciation. I think it's Gods-damned hilarious, but I find people falling down funny (doesn't everyone? No, seriously)...

The lovely ladies I live with, and I, all seem to say this on a regular basis. You could say that Hot Rod has seriously invaded our subconscious minds.

Best-ever whinge from a dumped dude! Babe waaaaaaiiiiiittttttt.....

And the Pièce de résistance is this clip... I can't help but laugh uncontrollably when watching it. Comic genius.

Something in the Water...

2009-10-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

I'm in a music-posting state of mind at the moment, and continuing in that vein I'm going to post up some of my favourite Perth band's and some of their awesome music. It's a phase....

This first band is Harlequin League, who have been around for a reasonable length of time and have been getting some play on Triple J for the last year or so. They're relentless tourers and they're really lovely blokes too. I hope they get the recognition they so very much deserve!

This is Tame Impala, a group of blokes all in their very early 20's who have a truly psychadelic and very awesome sound. Pretty cool video clip too. They've won a few WAMIs (Western Australian Music Awards), get a fair amount of airplay on the J's, have been voted into the Triple J Hottest 100 (big music vote for the year's best songs) and definitely will go a pretty long way, in my opinion.

Sugar Army are the current darlings of the WA indie music set. They have had rave reviews with their newest album "The Parallels Among Ourselves" and have been getting all kinds of airplay and notice. And for excellent reason, they're an awesome band in studio or live. Even better live, I reckon!

However, for the winning of multiple awards and serious recognition (in such a short amount of time) I have to give it to Birds of Tokyo. It helps that I know a couple of the dudes... but, that aside, they are a seriously amazing musical collaboration. Considering they are a band constructed of people from various other Perth bands (including Karnivool) they do an amazing job.

However, that's the weird thing about Perth bands. Every muso is in at least one other bastardised side-project and they tend to be equally awesome. Perth is a very small place :P

Dust off those Purple Sneakers and let's have a Good Morning...

2009-10-27T01:29:00.000-07:00

This is one of my all-time favourite You Am I songs. They have been in the Australian Indie-consciousness since the early 90's, and every time I hear them it takes me back to my days of indie-grunge and alternative-rock, my converse shoes and my band t-shirts, and my very bleached-blonde hair. Ah... the 90's were fun.

I am going to see these guys on Friday and I'm really psyched! Can't wait. Tim Rogers is an incredible frontman.

He was incredible in the White Album Concert - four of Australia's most well-known and fantastic musicians (namely Chris Cheney, Phil Jamieson, Josh Pyke and, of course, Tim Rogers) do justice to one of the best-loved Beatles Albums. Definitely one of the greatest concerts I've been to.

But listening to Chris Cheney playing While My Guitar Gently Weeps was like being in another dimension of time and place.... shame this sound quality doesn't nearly live up to the real experience :(

I would love to play guitar even half as well as Chris Cheney. That man blows my mind. I'd totally have his babies... and anyone who knows me understands what a massive statement that is lol!

2009-10-20T01:55:00.001-07:00

This is one of the best known Shihad songs... for anyone who is curious :P

Who'd have thought a band from New Zealand could be so awesome?

... Well, I do suppose Crowded House falls into that category... oh, and Cut Off Your Hands... and, not forgetting, The Datsuns... okay, so they have some great bands. Their former lady Prime Minister still looks like a dude.

I never said I wasn't petty.

Okay, so our Prime Minister looks like Mr Sheen... what of it?

P.S. What is it with the "hands-raised" pose? "Don't shoot me, I'm a politician"? Weird.

SHINIES!!!!

2009-10-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

"Hey" and "What up?" to all the peeps who have followed this blog in the past and thought recently (or not at all), "Hey, where is that weird chick who writes the randomly retarded posts?Has she sought professional help or something?" Well, that would be a negatory on the professional help - much to the dismay of my chained gimp... what? Did I say gimp? I meant chimp. Yes, chimp... and it's a very long chain. He's happy. He's got all the cigarettes he could possibly want, so why wouldn't he be?

Aaaanyway, I have been very busy having too much fun to write about it. But now I'm back. Mainly because I have a shiny new laptop and I can't stop playing with it. I know. It's a wee bit lame, but I DON'T CARE!!! It's like all very "ooooo" and I'm like all really "aaaaahhh" and I seem to have lost the capacity to use english...

So. Yes. Real life... Hmmmm, I must have something to discuss... okay, I went to see Shihad on Friday and Saturday night just gone which was one of the best gigs I've been to in years. Apart from the INSANE New Zealanders (Shihad are a Kiwi band) that made up around 70% of the crowd on the Friday night. These dudes were even worse than the Children Collide crowd... which is honestly saying something.

The roadies came on to set up the equipment around 20-30 mins prior to the band getting on-stage, which seems to have been a signal for the freaks in the crowd to start the mass crush forward. Oh and the chanting of the band's name. Just in case they'd forgotten it, of course.

As the band came on, the psychos really showed their demented mettle. If you were a chick or a guy less than 6ft tall you were in for a rough time. Morons crowd-surfing with no concern for connections of boot to eye or other tender place, blokes whose only desire for being there involved shoving and bashing their way to the front and jumping out of the mosh-pit for the sole purpose of getting to do it again. Elbows to the head were the order of the day.

And, yet, it was still an amazing gig. Several times the band actually stopped to make sure people were okay (once to stop one dude from punching on), and throughout the gig they kept their eyes on us shorter girls that were being towered over by nutters. It was very kind of them, as so few bands even pay attention to the crowd craziness.

Saturday night was much tamer, no idea why. The band were just as incredible, if not more so. But the organisers had learned from the previous evening.... they hired crowd barriers! Shame they hadn't considered it for the night prior, but it's nice to see people learn from their mistakes.

Ah well, there have been many a crazy shenanigan go on in the last few weeks but it's late and I can't be bothered re-iterating it for you all here... I shall keep you all updated on the insanity that is me. If it's at all interesting to you... meh. I'd still do it even if it bored you all to death!

Peace bro...

... I'm parched as...

Ostara comings and goings...

2009-09-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

It has been a very busy week, combining excessive numbers of yoga classes, copious kilometres clocked-up on the odometre and a mid-week concert for Wolfmother (which was excellent, I must say), and I'm beginning to feel a little drained... and it's just the beginning of the long weekend!

This weekend is going to be extra-long as it's the Combined Covens Social Club Spring Camp. Three days of pagan shenanigans and philosophical conversations (mainly about sex) brings a shine to a witchy-girl's eye. However, sleeping in dorms tends to make adequate-sleep rather fleeting so by Tuesday I may be a shadow of my former self. Or Queen of the Zombies. Which would be really quite cool. Except for the whole brain-eating thing. I am vegan afterall.

Anyway, I'd ramble on a bit more but I have a tight schedule and I'm just a little shattered at present. I shall fill you in on the amusing goings-on upon my timely return. Have an awesome weekend everyone!!!!

Yes, I really am that odd

2009-09-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

My body has decided to get sick again. Damn it. Secondary infection? Whatever. Lame.

But I'm coming out of the joyful, retching cough and beginning to feel the faint warmth of Spring's soft tendrils clear my poor oesophogeal passages. So that's nice. I like not feeling like the chewing gum that has been crushed into the pavement, attached to someone's shoe, and scraped off with a stick into the nearest gutter. Yes, I'm feeling a little dramatic today, heh.

It's been a crazy and convoluted few months and I couldn't even begin to reiterate them here. There has just been WAY too many things going on to even remember the significant events. Let's just say that the following things have been involved:

sex
alcohol
lots of dancing
sex
awesome music
drawing on passed-out people
more sex
stupid dares, including cross-dressing, insulting random bogans, entirely inappropriate clothing/behaviour, and climbing structures that no logical person would attempt to climb among other things...
roadtrips
lots of movies
Pants-off Sunday
inappropriate and (highly politically incorrect) conversations about gay sex around the dinner table
lots and lots of rain
cute boys
absinthe... the evil green fairy
staying awake for more than 24 hours just so you could bag anyone else present who couldn't
and, did I happen to mention sex? Yay me.

I'm sure there were a whole bunch of other crazy events but that's all I can think of at the moment. It's been a very strange time, but a great deal of fun. I'm of the mindset, at present, that I will say 'yes' to the things I'm invited to rather than not. I used to miss out on a lot of my friends' events because I wasn't in the right headspace and, as a result, wasn't involved in their lives as much. I don't think I want to do that anymore, so when I can (and where I can) I will go.

Life is such a short existence. I'm loathe to look back on my days with sorrow, that I didn't get "out there" as much as I might have and enjoy it. I'd much rather be embarassed at the stupid things I did! Those are aways in great abundance...

2009-09-03T05:46:00.001-07:00

Sadly, this is a pretty accurate depiction of our great city.... Hahahahaha... lame.

Enjoy the City of Perth....

No... I am not old. I am just youth-impaired...

2009-08-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

It has been far too long since I blogged on here, so I figured it was about time I wrote something! Life had been crazy-busy, and extraordinarily convoluted. Keeping up with my increasingly hilarious social life is getting to be a full-time job... or at least an evening one. But I will regale my bizarre escapades at a slightly later date - for now it's all about my 30th birthday....

So, yes, I am now 30. It freaks me out, and yet seems so surreal as to be completely unreal. I am almost shocked at how quickly my 20's passed by. I'm sure my teens were significantly more slow. Even so, it's time to admit... I'm not in my 20's anymore. I am now a "TWIT" - "Teenage Woman in her Thirties"....

Gods, that's depressing.

But, I did have a kick-arse time sending off my 20's, which is somewhat comforting. Taking over the back bar of the Universal Bar, we proceeded to imbibe of the goodly spirits from the bar-tab that I'd set up (with the VERY hot Events Manager.... thinking bad, bad, naughty things now...) and found ourselves to be merry folk indeed. It was slightly difficult to balance the family groups, with the pagan/coven friends, and the gig friends, the old friends, the new friends, the ex-boyfriend, with the fuck buddies (why? I wondered that myself... sucker for punishment, I think)... and all the myriad groups in between. So it was with swirling head that I breathed a sigh of relief when the family and ex made tracks and I could just be me again - sad that one cannot be that with everyone.

The music proceeded from pretty good, to not bad, to not utterly terrible, to "What the fuck is this shit and why is it so loud that my ears are bleeding?", at which point we deemed it time to leave. So we headed to the Amplifier Bar where the rest of the people who didn't make it to the Universal were waiting. However, we had picked up some random people along the way (whose names completely escape me) and were dragged into several other bars/pubs/drinking establishments of seriously inferior calibre. Yet, alcohol is the same everywhere (except Bali, where it's just plain rocket fuel) so we did find a purpose at these places as well. And when I had been sufficiently chatted up by the old, the feral, the completely inebriated, and the seedy, seedy bouncers I felt it was more than time to move on again... to the Amplifier Bar... hopefully.

By this stage, the group had trickled off. Left behind in various places to drink with random freaks with the intention we would "meet up" at Amps. By the time I actually made it to the flipping line it was myself and one other friend, who proceeded to get a call from her casual boyfriend and organised to be picked up outside for sexy, sexy times... which I would begrudge no one. So I was entirely cool with that.

And then I MADE IT INTO FUCKING AMPS, GODS-DAMN-IT!!! On my own, by this stage. Proceeded to get texts from all and sundry attempting to (very inexpertly) guide me to where they were. Naturally did two laps, finding no one, and then found the one person I'd completely forgotten that I'd invited! So we hung out until the rest of the drunken morons could actually find me. Of course, as soon as one group of people found me, everyone else did... and the random people that we'd lost along the way there. So I had far too many shooters in a very short span of time. Not the greatest thing in the world for one's liver, but fun.

Naturally, found myself snogging all and sundry - because I'm very affectionate when drunk - not discriminating between women or men. Did happen to find some very good dancers, and was twirled around the dance floor... which was sadly rather crowded, so that my elegant pirouettes were marred somewhat by crashing headlong into various people. Which really just served to make it that much funnier. Finally was dragged out of Amps by my friends, whilst some other random dude was trying to drag me back in so that he could keep kissing me (I mean, why wouldn't you? hahaha) and wandered along to our friend's house in the city.

Not before finding vegan sustenance in the form of the obligatory, Saturday night Kebab! I managed to entertain the staff quite effectively when I attempted to kick my friend Angelo in the arse and landed flat on my back, wondering why I could suddenly see the ceiling. Lucky for me, Ju jitsu taught me how to fall correctly and I wasn't hurt... at least I'm saying it's the Ju jitsu training, because it couldn't possibly be that I was too drunk to actually contract the muscles that I would in fright when falling. No. It was the training. Much like the awesome kick that landed me there.

So, with kebab in hand, we made our way over the train station - up whose stationary escalator stairs I decided to run. Nearly made it but the top step got me and I once again stacked it. Scraped the hell out of my knees but I saved my kebab! So with runs in my tights and kebab in my belly I made it to our friend's house with other friends in tow. Managed to wake up some poor blonde girl when we appropriated the couch - whom we dubbed "Pineapple Head" as her post-sleep hair style was rather fetching. Then two of the lads, weak in their capacity to stay awake, fell asleep and left themselves open to our evil plans... suffice to say one of them woke up with two different colours of lipstick on his face, in the most beautiful of patterns, whilst the other woke to find himself holding said lipstick-face in the most gentle of manners... photos abound.

Made it home by 8am Sunday morning, awaking at 4pm just in time to ready myself for the delicious dinner that my dear Ethony spent all day preparing for our friends. And even more hilarity and crazy shenanigans ensued, as they do with us, including highly inappropriate dinner discussions including such topics as fecal compaction, clearing of the anal passage prior to sex, and a diatribe on the people from which countries one would not have sex with.... suffice to say, it was a VERY amusing evening. Not to mention delicious.

So, my good friends and partying ways helped me to forget that I was actually 30 years old... but now it is all coming back to me... the onset of dementia already. Yay me.

Pretentious? Me? Surely not!

2009-07-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I would definitely say I am mostly sane. Mostly. There are times when I wonder what the definition of sane is, and whether I fall into some semblance of that category. The rest of the time I just pretend that all is well.

See the thing is, I am beginning to accept my eccentricities and foibles (that is a very cool word, by the way... I'm impressed that I had the opportunity to use it there) as a part of who I am. I accept that there are times when I can't remember a frickin' thing and words completely escape me. I also accept that I can be talking about something and all of a sudden have absolutely no clue, whatsoever, that there was even a topic being discussed. All these things about myself I am growing comfortable with the longer I exist on this planet and in this incarnation.

Now, if I were to be assessed by the general psychological fraternity the subject of my beliefs would likely still be in serious contention. I somehow doubt that energetic sensitivity and communication with non-corporeal entities is something that would be completely understood and, potentially, could be used an excuse to commit me. However, I am now comfortable with the things that I hold to be truth and no longer feel the need for validation from the wider community, nor the need to share my insights with all and sundry - hence, the absence of extra-long-sleeved white coats in my wardrobe. It's certainly nice to have validation, and I appreciate my friends who are on similar paths and experience the same things that I do, but it's not necessary for my personal happiness these days.

It's a strange thing that when you happen upon a doctrine or philosophy which triggers a kind of "oh right, I have finally found what I have always known but never was able to put into words..." mental connection you are filled with this odd euphoria for a while. It is in this state that born-again-christians feel the need to spread the "good word" among friends and family, and others of different belief also desire to "help" everyone around them to achieve a similar clarity of mind. I am so glad that I am past that stage. It only lasted for a short time (a few months really, many years ago now) but it was a terribly conceited thing to presume - that my cognitive processes would translate to the processes of others.

I love that every person on this planet has a different way of seeing the world and their place in it. It would be so incredibly boring if everyone thought in the same patterns. How else would the human race be capable of such incredible progress and technological evolution? We need everyone to think in different ways so that the flow of ideas continues to be a rich vein in each society - whether that society accepts free-thinking or not, it still exists for such things will never be erradicated.

We're human, therefore we think. And I am Teneal, therefore I think far too much... lol.

Ah yeah... hmmmmmm

2009-07-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

So, if you're a regular reader of my randomness, you may have noticed my absence from here. I have been just a tiny bit busy and a whole lot of lazy :P

Here's the update:

Grandad's funeral was really lovely. It was at Fremantle Cemetary (where the remains of Bon Scott of ACDC fame rest) and rained until the procession began, then the sun came out in full force! Lead by a lone bag-piper (he was a proud Scotsman), the hundred or so attendees followed the hearse surrounded by Grandad's sons and grandsons. It was really moving.

The funeral ceremony itself was a wonderful remembrance of his humour, passions and his life. The part in which everyone cried most was the photo-montage tribute set to really sad music (Pavlov's Dog, I think). Seeing him from such a young age move into advanced years was incredibly sad - it reminded us of the person he was rather than the unknown person that the onslaught of age had converted him into.

It was lovely that the family all supported each other, regardless of disagreements and old hurts - and my grandmother (mum's mum) didn't actually lynch my father... even though she had ample opportunity. Amazing restraint.

Elsewhere things are looking good. Struggling with government agencies over family payments and the like - going "postal" is looking like the most effective option. Living with the girls is still awesome, they are spectacular as. Feeling pretty stressed about the finances though, so I really ought to get some magickal mojo onto that issue... and do some decent job-hunting.

In the crazy party stakes, I think I have just been to one that takes the cake for insanity (in most recent times anyway....). I had my friend's 30th birthday on Saturday night, which was 1920's Casino themed. It was fantastic. Everyone dressed up to the nine's (I went a bit golden-age, movie-star glam) and there were poker tables and roulette wheels going with pretend betting and all. Very impressive.

And there was the obligatory cocktail machines, replete with radioactive, highly sugared fluids. Mmmm, wrongtown. Oh and the gigantic esky of beer. So it wasn't surprising that adequately retarded shenanigans were to eventuate as the night progressed.

The girl who decided to entertain everyone with a strip-tease obviously didn't realise that strippers usually keep their knickers on... so she went completely nude. And then proceeded to practice naked cartwheels, much to everyone's horror (well, I'm sure some of the blokes were quite enthusiastic about it - camera phones were over-used I suspect). It wasn't until she smashed her face into the concrete that she decided to stop. Yes, blood noses tend to make one look somewhat less than sexy.

Later in the eve, a couple thought it would be a fantastic idea to have sex behind the shed in the backyard. Yes. It wasn't actually private and seemed to be the area that the drunken gentlemen were using for their urination. So, of course, everyone could see them. And, if you were wondering, it was the cartwheeling girl who (with her internet-dating boyfriend) provided the sex show. Mmmm, Redtube is having a field day right about now.

And if that wasn't enough, the lovely lady in question decided that there was obvious need to forcibly pash as many women as she could. I was lucky enough not to be in that firing line, but many others couldn't report the same luck. Of course, no one knew who the hell this woman was who'd provided so much of the night's entertainment, because it would appear she simply arrived with some casual acquaintance (the net dude). I felt very sad for her though, because who does that kind of thing and isn't completely messed up?

Anyway, the majority of the night was incredible. Caught up with some people I haven't seen since primary school (most surprisingly) and met some other wonderful folks. Didn't sleep a wink until I got home the next day at 5pm - the birthday girl refused to let me leave before then. So after 34 hours of being awake I found myself nodding off in the car on the driveway at home until I could actually wake-up enough to drag myself into the house. I haven't been awake for that long in many a year, but it was all kinds of awesome!

So that is the major events of the last couple of weeks in a nutshell. Many other insane incidents have occurred, which I may yet put onto here... just not right now :P I think it's time to stock-up on sleep!

Cool beans... cool beans...

2009-06-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

You know what? I actually don't know what to blog about today. It's pretty rare for me to get this way, so I must be having a serious brain-drain. Sadly.

It's been a pretty odd kind of weekend which was a mixture of relaxing times combined with catching-up with a bunch of friends I haven't seen in a while. Friday night Ethony and I had our friend Simon over for dinner and I made an awesome curry, super-hot in nature. Then our other housemate came home with one of her friends and we all vegged-out watching "Hot Rod" and laughing until we cried. Fun times.

Saturday I mostly bummed around the house trying to find the inclination to actually do something productive. I was seriously unsuccessful with that endeavour. Finally got my act together mid-afternoon and then headed off to Nic's house for a Yule (Winter Solstice) celebration. Poor Ethony had been a Faery Queen at her friend's daughter's birthday party and was completely wiped-out. As a result of our day's efforts (or non-efforts, as the case may be), we were pretty weak conversationalists for most of the night. Still good to hang out though.

Today Ethony and I headed up to Kalamunda, a beautiful little town nestled amongst the tall trees of the Perth Hills, for the Combined Covens Yule Fete. It was a lovely, sunny Winter's Sunday and it was truly spectacular to catch-up with some of my friends in the pagan community. There really are some beautiful people amongst them.... unfortunately, sometimes the freaks do detract from the great peeps.

Freaks who are pagan so that they can be "alternative" and fluffy bunnies whose idea of magic is "white-lighting" everything and following the advice of Doreen Virtue-esque writers just do my head in. It really is one of my pet peeves. It's not as though our beliefs are widely accepted in the larger community at the best of times, but when you have these morons lauding their own skewed concepts of the occult to all and sundry it taints the credibility of those of us who follow an esoteric path. I think these people very often turn the genuine pagans off joining in with the socialisation. Really annoying, because the girls and I are still waiting for the influx of hot druids... mmm, outdoor pagan sex ;) *mind wanders...*

Tonight we had our friend Samuel over for dinner, which he kindly cooked for us (I was the Chef's Apprentice) - so freakin' delicious! Yummy. I think Samuel should cook for us every night, really. We also watched the stop-motion movie "Coraline" which was absolutely fantastic and blew all our minds with the intricacy and beauty of the art. Truly spectacular, I highly recommend it!

So, that was the weekend. Not particulary interesting, but it was nice not to have to go out too much for a change.... my body requires some rest, I think.

Farewell to your beautiful spirit, Grandad

2009-06-17T21:19:00.000-07:00

My grandad has finally left this plane of existence, and I am so very glad. Not because I don't love him, but because I do. It was the most horrid thing to see him suffer in the way he did. Truly devastating. But I am still eternally grateful that I had the time with him that I did, even though he wasn't capable of communication and I can't be certain that he even recognised our presence. The mere knowledge that he was supported by the ones who loved him most was, I deem, a huge comfort to someone on the verge of transition.

It has encouraged me to contemplate the intranscience of life and what it is to live. Not that I don't contemplate these concepts with regularity, but I feel that I can view the subjects from a slightly different perspective. Seeing my family rally together around my grandfather's bedside was an eye-opening experience, which reminded me that even though we see each other so rarely my family will always be there for each other in our darkest times.

I'm not sure why, but this makes me feel both sad and happy at the same time. Sad because it seems that so much is missed of each other's lives when families only make the effort to come together when absolutely necessary. Why not celebrate the good times, rather than commiserate the bad? Happy because I know I will always have a support network behind me. Which is incredibly comforting.

Particularly, considering there are so many people for whom supportive family isn't a reality. I am very lucky indeed. Is there really anything else more important in life than giving and receiving love? On whatever that level may be and in whichever way it applies.

So when I'm listening to my Nanna tell her story about her dog, Flossie, for the one hundred thousandth time I'll remind myself of this truth. Family is the safety-net to the high-wire acrobatics of my life. Something to intone to onself when the Flossie stories are re-run... and re-run...

Death draws near on silent wings...

2009-06-14T09:30:00.000-07:00

Updates on the last post...

My grandad is a hell of a fighter, unfortunately he can't win this battle no matter how hard he tries. I have been with him everyday since Thursday and feel that my presence is at least allowing him to know how much I love him. Although he may well be sick of my singing or me reading books to him :P

It's very difficult to see a person that you care so much for wither away before your eyes. He's so incredibly skeletal. This is the man who used to lift weights that even his burly, state-football-playing sons struggled to raise, and would out-run most of his energetic grandchildren. I just hope he lets go soon, it must be so terribly difficult for him.

I thought he was about to go this evening when I was reading to him. His breathing slowed down to a mere whisper and I could feel his life-force ebbing... and then my nanna and uncle came in and he must've realised because he brought himself back. It was the most incredible thing. The sound of my nanna's voice was enough to draw him back from the brink of death.

It is refreshing to discover that death doesn't frighten me. You can never be sure of how you'll react in any given situation, but I didn't feel fear but awe, instead. I can still look at his emacited frame and hollow, drooping cheeks and see beauty in form; there is no horror whatsoever. I choose to remember him at every stage that I've known him - in death as well as life. For all of these experiences have defined him as the grandad I love, and serve to emphasise his incredible strength, fortitude and caring personality.

I will be forever grateful that I was gifted with this time and this knowledge of my paternal grandfather. His presence in my life was a treasure that I shall hold in my heart for as long as I live. May you all be lucky enough to have an experience that brings you to such understanding, for it is indeed a blessing.

Om Shanti Hari Om

Hospital Blues...

2009-06-11T23:40:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid that the following post will contain some whinging and moaning, so consider yourself fore-warned...

This week has been quite sad for me. My grandad is dying, quite slowly and painfully it would seem. The doctor has told us that he may pass anytime from one more fatal stroke, or perhaps the pnuemonia that is gradually filling his lungs with fluid, or maybe even the acute renal failure. Suffice to say he's pretty much done with this life.

I spent about 5 hours at the hospital with him, although it's likely he was completely unaware of my presence as he is so heavily dosed on morphine. My nanna was completely beside herself and spent a fair while sobbing on my shoulder, whilst my uncles and my brother all tried, man-fully, to keep their tears back. I held it together until they'd all gone home after their 12 hour stint, but when it was just grandad and I the shock of it all hit me.

Even so, I'm really glad I had that time with him. I had the chance to tell him (whether he was capable of hearing me or not) how much I cared about him and how grateful I was to know him. When I couldn't think of anything to say I just sang songs to him in the hopes that, if there was still some level of consciousness in there, he might feel some comfort in what must surely be a very frightening experience. Trapped inside a body that is dying would be the worst kind of imprisonment.

He will be my first grandparent to pass on, so this is a prelude of things to come. I have a rather long-lived family, hence the reason that all of my grandparents are still alive in their 80's... well, at the moment they are. Technically.

So in a few hours I'll be heading back to the hospital to see him, so I'll better get to learning some new lyrics... I think I've used up all of my known material :P

I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies...

2009-06-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

Just to highlight my juvenile sense of humour.... here is the evidence:

Come on. You totally laughed.

Ahhh Good Times....

2009-06-08T05:42:00.001-07:00

Whilst I am now suffering for my wild shenanigans last night they were most certainly worth it. It was truly ace. Bluejuice are one of the few bands that I know of who can get anyone up and jumping like rats on a hotplate. Well, I'm sure there were some sorry sacks who couldn't be bothered lifting a foot off the floor... lame.

The Scotch of St James opened with a cracking set and really revved the crowd up. They were their usual amazing selves, but in the relatively small quarters of the Norfolk Basement it was a bit painfully loud. So we sat near the back of the place so that we could listen to the music without the horrors of burst ear-drums. From such a vantage point the music was awesome.

Then the front of stage filled as soon as the Bluejuice boys made there way to their instruments. The sheer energy of the band is incredible. You can see that these guys truly love what they do and the camraderie between them is obvious. They have fun up there and they share it with the audience really well. It is a total joy to watch them.

They kicked off with a few well known songs like "Get Me Down", "Vitriol", "The Reductionist" and "We Get It Right", among other lesser-air-played songs from their album "Problems". I have to say that the recorded songs are nothing on the live. It seems to very often be this way, and I deem it a commendable thing - stage-presence is much harder to achieve than recording cred. All in all they blew me away... again.

This is the spiel on the band from their MySpace page. Frickin' hilarious:

"bluejuice …shit name, great band.

Ear-blasting electro hip hop from bluejuice, who strike ahead of their driving beats in a menacing shudder of rhymes; speeding, collapsing and exploding in mad, vicious brilliance, like a pack of dogs in a scramble for your blood. Welcome to the Terror Dome. – Beat Magazine, Melbourne, June 2007

In 1984 bluejuice rose from the ashes of one of Australia’s favourite pop bands, Sherbet.
After singer Daryl Braithwaite left to pursue his solo career, the band found themselves struggling with significant gambling and narcotic debts. Although Howzat was an international hit, the royalties dried up and the boys were getting desperate. One night in Bangkok changed all that.

Drummer Ned Molesworth, keyboardist Jerry Craib and bass player Jamie Cibej found themselves in a seedy strip club when they chanced a meeting that would change their lives.
Without warning, two of the most beautiful female impersonators took to the stage and hypnotised the audience with a slow, seductive snake-dance. The boys were speechless. The she-males were wanton, blistering.

The audience rushed the stage, and the lady-boys took a back door out. Jerry was waiting, and ushered them into a tuk-tuk. Plying them with opium and the promise of clean, safe gender realignment surgery, he coaxed Xinxui (now Jake Stone) and Pataks (now Stav) back to Sydney, Australia.

Rehearsals for the new band began in earnest, and bluejuice was born.
Sporting an aggressive, party-oriented mix of rock, hip hop, electro and disco, the five member group is in its element making people dance in a retarded, unselfconscious way. Producer Jim Masheder likened the band’s sound to “Lil’ Jon playing in a rock band”, an accurate representation of the more aggressive tracks on their debut LP, Problems. Elsewhere, expect to find downtempo hip hop, ska-tinged pop and pounding disco, all laced with the band’s winningly tongue-in-cheek attitude.

bluejuice have supported major names like The Specials, Butterfingers, JacksonJackson (featuring members of The Cat Empire), Mercury Prize winner Dizzee Rascal, and played festival bills like The Essential Festival and Come Together 2.
Not bad for a bunch of ex-Sherbet band members, and two greedy she-males, eh?"

And that's enough of that. I'd say the absence of sleep may have something to do with my current state of being. I ended up staying over at my friend's house so I got absolutely no sleep. Then the poor guy had to get up at 4.30 in the morning, after not having slept since friday, so that he could drive me back to my house to get my car, and then I could drive back to my ex's to look after Jordy. What a convoluted web of ridiculousness.

So I sit here with an insanely sore back and a neck that feels as though it has been pummelled with rocks, but I do not lament the discomfort. I wear it as a reminder of the fun I had! Beats the pants-monkeys off a night in :P

My will be done...

2009-06-06T06:29:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that my last few blogs have had something of a whinging air about them... I think I'll attempt a more positive attitude for a while.

So I am currently infected by the flu, which is a tiny bit unfortunate. I suspect my body is trying to tell me to slow down a little. No idea why that would be :P I find it unfortunate because I've had to miss my friend's birthday dinner and I feel guilty about it. I know I can't help being sick, but I would have liked to be there for her.

I also feel bad because I have tickets to Bluejuice tomorrow night and I intend to go to it. I made a decision to go to the event that I'd already paid for instead of my friend's dinner... which was a logical decision as I am more sick today than I will be tomorrow (I've been sick enough times in my life to know the drill). Still, that quiet little voice inside me is admonishing me for my choice.

However, I am choosing to allow myself to do the things that I want for a change and not permit obligation to rule my days. Because that sneaky obligation tends to creep up on a person. Especially a woman and a mother. It's pretty difficult to escape the societal conditioning that comes with being a female - we're taught to accomodate others over ourselves.

Therefore, I am having a night at home for a change - rare for a Saturday - and going to see a band that rocks my socks tomorrow. Then I'll be all set for a week of obligatory pursuits for others. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

Gloria, I love you.... Like you love the beach, or a good book, or the beach...

2009-06-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today has been a weird one. My kiddliwink was sick, so that wasn't great. He woke up with a bitch of a fever and hacking cough, poor little tike. He seemed to get a bit less barky throughout the day, which is good.

However, it meant a bunch of organising for me. I had to find a last minute replacement for my pregnancy yoga class (not easy as so few teachers are confident with teaching preggers chicks) and that was an effort and a half... finally got a replacement though, so I hope she didn't freak out too much. People tend to think that if you're pregnant you're a delicate little flower that needs to be wrapped in cotton wool and kept away from light. The reality is, though, that you have to be in the toughest state of your life to pop out a watermelon from a not-watermelon-sized hole - not that I had to do that myself, but caesarians are not exactly a barrel of laughs either.

Also spent a ridiculous amount of time finding phone numbers for parents of the children in Jordy's kindy so that I could let them know I wouldn't be bringing certain things that I had promised to. You know, seeing as I wouldn't actually be anywhere near the school and all. Of course, I have no idea where I've put the class list. So, in the end, I had to call the school and find the person who knew where the class lists were, so they could find the surnames of the children and determine the parents names and numbers from that. Yep, it was a blast. Although I am very lucky that the school staff are so lovely!

Sadly, that took up a fair proportion of my day. How incredibly lame.

The rest of the day involved me trying to tempt Jordan with different kinds of food in the hopes that he would actually consume something. Oh and watch endless repetitions of Madagascar 2... I like to move it, move it, yeah I like to... Move IT! Great movie, but I think by the end of the week I'll be reciting it word for word.

Ah well, at least I don't have to rearrange anything for tomorrow... as far as I know. Gods, can't I just drop out of society for a while and be completely uncontactable and responsible for no one but me? Heh, one can dream :P

Aren't you super glad you're folowing this? Yep, thought so.

2009-06-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rather odd day. I slept in. Enough said.

No, there was more to it I guess. I have been feeling slightly external from my body all day and wondering what the heck it is that has created such a feeling. I wonder if, perhaps, the sheer magnitude of the events of the last few weeks has coagulated into a ball of liquid energy within me and has somehow displaced my spirit from my material self. Or maybe I am just talking random shit. Wouldn't be the first time. Or the 1 millionth time either.

I spent the night at my old house yesterday and now find myself really disassociated from my surroundings. I thought I'd be nice and clean up the house a bit before I left, so I cleaned the bathrooms and washed the dishes, did a load of washing. Now that I've returned to my current abode I wonder if that was a particularly wise thing to do... Ah well, it's done now.

I am forever doing helpful things like that for others, yet little realising the potential repercussions those actions may have for all. I hope it doesn't send a confusing message to my ex, but I can't predict such things. I know I would prefer to come home to a tidy and mostly clean house.

Gods I'm dribbling random crud today. I must be tired. I could delete the randomness but I know I won't so I'll just continue with it until I get bored. For your sake I hope that's soon.

Just completed a tarot reading for my house-mate which was filled with major arcana and some pretty intense stuff. It never fails to amaze me that the perfect cards to explain a situation just turn up. Really incredible. The energy required to extract the correct meaning from the cards has left me a little drained (because I was just so terribly full of energy before now... yeah right). Hence my randomness.

What am I saying? I am all about the random.

Oh well, my eyes are stinging and I need to get up in about 6 hours so I should probably go and sleep. Plus I'm bored now. Yes, I have bored myself with my own lameness. It's a skill, what can I say?

With a song in the heart...

2009-05-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

Today was another fun-filled day with excellent music to boot. I went to the Hyde Park Hotel for a fundraising concert given by local Perth bands to raise money for one of the mainstays of the Perth music scene, Krystal Jacknife. It was a massive turn-out and ran from 2pm until 10pm... great value for $15!

The line-up included The Bible Bashers, The Hayley Beth Love Affliction, Rocket To Memphis, The Painkillers, The Kuillotines, The Schvendes, and The Kill Devil Hills. By far the best, in my opinion, were The Kuillotines. Frickin' awesome stuff. The Hayley Beth Love Affliction were also rather spectacular; my gods that woman can sing! Incredible vocalist.

Unfortunately missed The Bible Bashers (a great punk band) but I'm lucky enough to have seen them before. All really good bands, but very different styles mixed into one big gig is pretty strange. Punk-rockers standing alongside Rock-a-billy enthusiasts is an interesting sight to behold... the Swing-dancing couple were pretty darn awesome though. Top stuff indeed.

A great day hanging with wonderful friends, catching-up with old acquaintances and meeting random new people, all with a shared love for live music. What more could you ask for?

Meat-market anyone?

2009-05-30T01:50:00.000-07:00

Warning: this post is likely to be filled with self-indulgent wankery and conceited remarks, with the intention of recording events , as experienced by me, for posterity. If you are offended by self-absorbed waffling, then why the hell are you reading this blog??? Shame on you.

Last night was a bunch of oddly contrasting amusements all rolled into a strange package of mutant proportions. Had a friend's birthday at a drinking establishment in South Perth (The Windsor) and I'm still not sure whether I ought to be horrified or flattered by the attentions of some of the patrons.

When I first arrived I had no idea where my friends would be (nor did they answer their phones) so I wandered about the rather large complex aimlessly, standing on tip toes to peer over the heads of other patrons in the hopes that I would glimpse a familiar face. Whilst in mid-peer, I was accosted by a group of men who attempted to convince me to stop looking for my friends and join them for some drinks. After much cajolling on their part, I considerately, but forcefully, declined their offer and resumed my search.

Continuing my way through the crowded inside bar I felt several pairs of hands squeeze my arse, and many eyes were transfixed upon my cleavage in a most obvious manner. I suppose the 70:30 ratio of men to women may have contributed to this outlandish behaviour, but it was still very rude. I couldn't be bothered trying to determine which bastards were feeling me up so I just pushed on through in the hopes I would discover my destination.

It was with tremendous relief that I found my friends and sat down to relax for a bit. It was shortly after my arrival that a random woman who had drunkenly be-friended the birthday girl in the bathrooms decided to join our party. And, of course, she sat right beside me and began talking my ear off. Then her slightly less drunk friend found her way over to us and joined in the random conversation. It was at around this point that the conversation began to turn onto the highway leading directly to Wrongtown.

The less drunk woman, probably thinking she was being sweet, told me that I was pretty. I didn't think too much of it, considering they were in their late 40's, I just figured she was trying to pay me a compliment. Then the second, drunker lady, of her own volition (seemingly) also told me how pretty I was. Suffice to say I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable with all of this random attention.

The less drunk lady (let's call her "A") told her more drunk friend ("B") that she (A) had already told me that and it might go to my head if they made a big deal of it - yes, because my ears are actually painted on so I couldn't possibly hear any of that. To which B said that she thought I was so pretty she would like to lick my face. No really. It was at this point that I thought it might be an idea to extricate myself from a potentially dodgy situation. So, with the excuse that I should go and meet some new people who had arrived for the birthday I scuttled off to the bar.

The new arrivals were blokes my friend worked with, and very nice people. However, before too long the conversation once again took a u-turn into Wrongtown's most frequented deviant street. Although it is entirely possible I instigated it. I am a bit low-brow sometimes. Regardless of who said what, sexual innuendo's were flying thick and fast - many of them being homosexual innuendo between the lads (which I always find highly amusing... latent sexuality). It was all rather strange and disturbing.

Making my way to the bar to escape the sexually charged atmosphere I found myself surrounded by drunken young men. Like I said, 70:30 ratio. They all proceeded to one-up-man-ship each other in a bizarre Australian mating ritual known as "hang-shit-on-your-friends-so-a-girl-will-think-you're-clever", as I waited patiently for the bar staff to serve me. Note to self: do not turn your back on dodgy boys unless you want them to grope your arse. Finally got my beverage and escaped back to the innuendo-fun.

By the end of the night I was utterly over the drunken, horny boys, the skanky, overly-bleached girls and the freakin' place in general. Each of the lads in the birthday party attempted to hook-up with me through the birthday girl (sigh), making me feel so flippin' weird about the whole night that when I got in the car finally I just sat there for a while trying to get my head around it all. I don't remember ever having to deal with that much crap in one night before. Even after working in bars.

What is the moral of this convoluted story? If you want to be felt-up and treated like a piece of meat then go to the Windsor on a Friday night. If, like me, you find that behaviour rather distasteful then please avoid the place LIKE THE PLAGUE IS WITHIN IT'S DOORS!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I am egoistic enough that I like a bit of admiration (I am a Leo, afterall) but that was freaky as. I think I need to douse myself in ethanol now to remove the cloying taint of skank.

Oh what a beautiful morning....

2009-05-27T15:13:00.001-07:00

It's not even the "crack of dawn" and I'm awake. Yay me.

So what do I do with myself when even the birds are still fast asleep in their nests? Why trawl the net for random sites of course. What else?

And here is what I found. It's not particularly interesting, which is the entire basis of random. Yep, bet you're glad you clicked that link lol.

And, just in case you haven't got sufficient weirdness in your life, I recommend this site: I Am Bored
Man, I seriously need some video games on this computer. I really have far too much spare time.

Oooh, the sun's coming up... there is light upon the horizon and a song in my heart... Gods, early mornings are SO not good for me.

I'm off to watch some early morning cartoons - the ads for which always make me want to buy odd things like Glitter Lava and creepy-looking dolls. Damn advertising companies are the Devil incarnate.

You got those ugly toes...

2009-05-26T19:36:00.000-07:00

So this is the video behind my previous post's title...

...for those of you who weren't Murder-Mysterying it up on Saturday night or aren't regular viewers of "Saturday Night Live" (which we don't get in Australia, more's the pity). I find it completely hilarious. Hope that you do too :)

Yep. Genius.

My mediocre face, my mediocre face...

2009-05-25T22:32:00.000-07:00

So..... where to even begin?

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks and I feel as though I've been sleep-walking through the vast majority of my days. They have been all kinds of fun, mostly. Dancing and live-music and fun, dress-up parties to boot. But the early mornings aren't making me particularly happy.

I suck at mornings. Especially when it's dark and the temperature is a couple of degrees off freezing. And my car heater takes about 10 minutes to kick in whilst I sit in my 3 t-shirts, jumper and coat, wearing my trackies under my jeans, and my teeth chattering a staccato beat in time with the engine. Fun times.

Even more exciting is having to form words at that time of the morning. I seem to have developed an entirely new language of gutteral vocalisations, perhaps akin to what anthropologists believe to be Neanderthal speech. And, yet, they do appear to be related to homo sapien languages because, for some reason, others seem almost able to comprehend their meaning. As though the grunting sounds are the fore-fathers of modern human language - coded within each person's DNA...

...Yes... moving on...

This week is moving week. I am to be moving into the lovely Ethony's house, and sharing with her and her sister. Three girls in one house sounds like a recipe for awesome times! Not to mention wild shenanigans.

We are also attempting raw veganism - yes, we'll see how that goes lol. It's one of those things that you can't really throw yourself straight into. It's a learning process for both body and mind, because it requires one to train oneself out of desiring certain foods - or find them distasteful.

I am lucky to have reached that stage, where the mere thought of eggs or milk makes me feel queasy, but there are times when I still succumb to things containing these products. I generally regret it because they tend to make me feel unwell, but we can't be complete psychos about our diets, or life would be far too serious. I won't, however, eat meat. That just grosses me out.

I find it quite fascinating to monitor my spiritual progress when I am following a raw vegan diet (I have done this a few times now) and my increased connection to and understanding of universal energies. That sounds very Doreen Virtue PhD spouting the wonders of Breatharianism (fucking moronic woman), but I have experienced these phenomena first-hand so I haven't any reason to doubt them.

I do, however, seriously doubt that a human can survive on air alone... unless they are some incredibly enlightened spiritual master. Something that Ms Virtue ain't. Wealthy, blue-rinse-new-ager-whore, yes. Enlightened Master, no. Definitely not.

Sorry Virtue-lovers.

Actually I'm not sorry at all, I was just paying you lip-service. I think you would do better to read the freakin' dictionary than read anything that stupid woman wrote. No offence.

Actually, please take as much offence as you like. I don't really care. Hee hee.

Wow, I'm a bitch today.

Ode to chocolate... How I love thee, let me count the ways...

2009-05-18T22:04:00.000-07:00

As I sit here munching on dark chocolate with yummy whole coffee beans in it, I contemplate the odd state of affairs that has brought me to this point in my life, to this block of chocolate...

Don't get me wrong. There have been many other blocks of chocolate that have held equal importance to me at different life stages, I am simply contemplating this block, right now.

Two years ago I would have utterly despised this type of chocolate, claiming that it's too intense in nature and too much for me to handle. I preferred the wishy-washy flavours of milk varieties with fake flavours and fillers. I clearly wasn't ready for it back then. My evolution through the layers of cocoa percentages has allowed me to find the beauty in the noir, the subtlety in the bitter, the "Va-voom" factor in the caffeinated tidbits.

The funny thing is that I'm not that much of a chocolate fan. Never really was. I can only eat a little bit of it - too much makes me want to puke. And with the dark chocolate it is an enforced rule - there is no way that you can sit down and eat an entire block of it without waking up in a puddle of vomit, a bloody knife in hand, and dirt under your nails that make it appear as though you have been digging in the earth... for some reason. Or other.

Or maybe that's just me.

So, I guess what I am trying to say (if it is anything at all - I suspect not) is that one must hazard the pitfalls of lesser chocolates until they can claim the worthy level of "dark-chocolate-enlightenment", for only then does one truly comprehend the chocolate love.

And if you can't see the metaphor that I am so weakly parodying here, then perhaps you ought to eat some more chocolate... ;)

Norfolk Basement, 15th May... Rollicking good times

2009-05-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

It's been lots of fun cat-sitting the last few days. I'd forgotten how much I really like them. The sheer wild abandon with which they throw a piece of rubbish into the air and leap to catch it is a panacea for the soul.

Sleeping with three cats on the bed, however, is a tragedy and comedy rolled into one. At one point I had a cat on either side of me, glaring at each other across my prone form, and one sleeping above my head tapping my hair with her paw every so often. So damn funny. Bit distracting when they decide it's time to rumble - and the venue is you. At 3 in the morning.

Went to the Norfolk last night to see The Novocaines and The Silents play. It kicked-arse! The supporting bands were made of equally wonderful stuff and they all impressed the pants off me... well, not literally. Unfortunately ;)

The first band were The Bad Vibes, and they rocked my world. From the very first bar I loved them, and they kept bringing the awesome as the set continued. Variations from an indie kind of rocky sound, to 70's style rhythms and bluesy-rock melodies. So great. Particularly for a bunch of blokes who were mostly still in their teens!

The next band on were The Revolvers and they rocked my socks. I really liked their sound which harkened back to the days of grunge with a psychadelic edge to it. Really great stuff. They were a very energetic bunch, particularly the lead singer who's stage antics were impressively uncompromising - and deceivingly coordinated. I especially liked the guitar-neck-getting-caught-on-the-mic-chord-and-pulling-the-whole-mic-stand-over trick and then the subsequent flicking of the liberated mic back up with the foot to sing with. Impressive.

The Novocaines were up next and it was sterling from beginning to end. Little bit reminiscent of Jet, but they are actually so much better than those guys. The lead singer had fantastic stage presence and was suitably quirky enough to bring the awesome. Hearkening back to 60's and 70's punk and old-school rock, with a good helping of grunge to boot, catchy riffs and glorious melodies, they are the band to see. And when all the lads in the band get their jump on it is an extraordinary sight. You know they are having as much fun as you are!

Closing out the night were The Silents, the indie darlings of the Perth scene. With Lloyd Stowe bringing a Craig Nicholls (of The Vines) sort of vocal styling, but with significantly more polish, and a pychadelic rocking sound melding into sublimely soaring guitar riffs and vocal harmonies, the melodies created by this group of amazing musicians blew my mind. I've heard them many times on Triple J over the last couple of years, and had forgotten how much I love them. A perfect ending to a wonderful evening of local Perth musical talent!

And all of this wonderousness resulted in a smile permanently planted upon my face for the rest of the night :) Cheers to all of you glorious musicians!

If this is normal workplace practice you totally need a new job

2009-05-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

I am spending far too much time on YouTube. I think there might be something very wrong with me...

Yep.

Last one. Honestly.

2009-05-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, seriously the last i will post on this subject. I promise. But it sums up all the rest...

Yeah.

Just coz, really :)

2009-05-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so it's been a My Little Pony kind of day today. I have no idea where this strange inclination is coming from (perhaps it's because Jordy has one and it's bringing back odd memories of inappropriately suggestive cartoon horses...) but I'm completely running with it because it's funny as hell :P

So, just in case you didn't get enough the first time around, here's some more randomness for your viewing pleasure!

I am so tapped right now.

Okay, I'll stop now lol

Yeah... it speaks for itself really

2009-05-13T17:33:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what it is about this vid but I find it hilarious... hope you enjoy the all-round badness of it lol

I tawt I taw a puddy tat...

2009-05-12T20:07:00.000-07:00

So, I'm to become a crazy cat lady for a few days whilst I care for my friend's cats and birds. I may have to dust off the plastic-bag-lady outfit (see previous post under "plastic-shopping-bag couture" for more info) so that I can look the part.

It's a bit frightening really, considering I haven't had a cat for years and they have sharp claws that can puncture veins... yes, I have had some traumatic cat-related experiences. Haunting visions of dark blood glistening red in the sunlight as it squirts across the grass... that screeching "REEEOOOOWWWWRRRR" as a streak of white lightning flies past my head, digging claws into flesh as it escapes down my back...

My childhood cat was somewhat psychotic. I think she had a thirst for human blood - mostly mine. Then again, I imagine it was recompense for all the times I dressed her in doll's clothes and crammed her into a pram. So I suppose it was a fair trade. What's a few pints of blood compared to complete humiliation?

At least the three cats I'm looking after seem to like me. I hope. You never can tell with cats, they are the original snobs - no one can turn a cold-shoulder like a cat. The super-models of the animal world (they don't call it a "Cat-walk" for nothing).

Huh, just realised that the birds are canaries and one of the cats looks suspiciously like Sylvester... this could be bad.

Sin City... sans Bruce Willis

2009-05-10T17:44:00.000-07:00

I am still in recovery mode after a huge weekend, and I didn't even drink! An initially planned quiet Saturday night of super-delicious curry (thanks Eth!) spent with Gale Harold and the boys (Queer As Folk) and a bit of Moon Magick turned into a night of SIN....
the club, that is.

For those who have never heard of it, Sin is a nightclub in Perth where the goths and sub-culture fashionistas go to get their groove on and attempt to scare each other. Oh and it's LOADS of fun. So Ethony, Nicole and myself pulled on our black threads (the girls looking mighty awesome in figure-hugging and boob-displaying numbers), caked on the eye make-up and headed in to the city.

Trash Madonna had their last Perth gig at Sin that night, and they certainly had their reverb on - as they tend to. I really wish they would just figure their freakin' equipment out because they would sound awesome if they did. I don't think I've ever actually heard the singer's voice through a whole song... lame. They're off to London now, so maybe that means they'll get some equipment that actually works.

There was some excellent music played, from the Cure to Pendulum to Nine Inch Nails and, of course, some obligatory Nick Cave. There was also some classic dance moves as provided by the man in the leather dress and his stomping boots - that was some seriously funny, and slightly frightening, shit. He really cleared himself a decent space in the centre of the dance floor with his hilariously bizarre moves. It did seem the men wearing skirts were the most outrageous dancers (who'd've thunk it?) - well, one was in a kilt, so I must give him credit for keeping with the ancestry.

Met some seriously funny people too and watched a bloke that we be-friended, Simon, get virtually raped by some random woman. I think he was just a bit traumatised afterwards. Poor boy. That's what you get when you deign to remove your shirt and run through a bunch of goths and S&M enthusiasts... oh, and mention you've never kissed a girl with a tongue-ring before. Yep, good times.

After about an hour out the front of the club discussing all manner of strange topics whilst in a 5-person group huddle (hey it was cold, okay? There was even some Koombayah... although my pentacle was burning me at that point lol), we made it back to Ethony's house at around 5am. By the time I got home and dragged my carcass into bed I had about 3 hours before I needed to get up and go to my parent's house for Mother's Day celebrations. Mmm yes, Mother's Day wasn't too far off the joys of teeth extraction. But I made it through, which is the main thing - and no one suspected that I was a zombie. Bwahahaha brains...

And now I think I might go and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, for the umpteenth time, in bed. Yay me!

Hopefully I'll get some pics from Ms Ethony to post up here for all to peruse ;)
Smooches peeps

Slice and Dice

2009-05-06T23:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know it's my second post for the day but I thought I'd just make a record of how completely moronic I can be whilst it's fresh in my mind.

My son, Jordan, makes bread rolls at Kindy once a week and I thought I'd cut yesterday's one open and spread it with some butter and vegemite so he could eat the product of his exertions. However, these rolls are probably better described as rocks made of flour. I bet you can guess what happened next...

Yes, I sliced my finger open. Only, I don't do things in a half-arsed fashion. When I do something I do it right. So of course my finger nail is also sliced in half, and it would appear that I have chipped the bone within the finger tip. Yep, good on me.

I was rather surprised at the sheer quantity of blood that flowed from the wound. I'd say half a cup's worth of precious ruby liquid made it's way to the freedom of the outside world. I'm still trying to decide whether I need stitches - although how they'd stitch through the side of my finger and my fingernail I don't know... perhaps some glue. I know what I'd prefer lol.

On a positive note, I am clearly not anaemic. So that's good news :) I've been forcing iron tablets down my throat because I thought I might be, but I'm obviously a better vegan than I give myself credit for!

By Mighty Thor it hurts though. Ouchies. I had to lay on the bed after I succeeded in covering my finger tip with three bandaids so that I could hold my hand above my heart level (I remembered my first aid, hehe) and prevent myself from fainting. Shock and blood-loss can make one a little unsteady - or down-right nauseous, as I discovered. Still hurting quite a lot now after 3 hours. Maybe I'll book myself into the doctor tomorrow.

Rather spewing though. I'd been planning to learn some new songs and perhaps write another one... I'm not actually good at fretting a guitar with three fingers. Most unfortunate. Ah well, serves me right for being a dick. Next time I'll be using metal saftey gloves.

Bugger, I think the Panadol is wearing off. Time for more drugs.

She-Ra, Master of the Universe!!!! (Yes, I know I am mixing cartoons)

2009-05-06T18:07:00.000-07:00

I finally became a man and hooked-up a trailer all by myself last night. Okay, perhaps not a man but a chick who knows how to DO stuff. That in itself is pretty spectacular in my book.

So far I can drill holes, use a chainsaw (with much trepidation), brick-pave, chop wood, angle-grind (scary stuff seeing me with an angle-grinder), get up on the roof and clean the gutters, change a tyre, and probably a few other things that are normally relegated to the role of "man's work". I am determined to break that pathetic stereotype.

My Nanna (at the age of 70) still gets up on the roof to repair tiles and clean gutters, moves huge cement slabs about, drills holes in the wall to hang stuff, lays reticulation, shifts around furniture, and does all the general repairs on her house - yet when discussing the concept of female police officers says, "There are just some things that women aren't meant to do..." WTF????? Contradictory in the extreme and HUGELY insulting. I have heaps of female friends in the police force and they do an incredible job - as well, if not better, than a man.

Still, driving a trailer at night that seems to blend in with the road is nerve-racking. Constantly peering into the side-mirrors to see if it's still there, freaking out because you think it isn't, then realising that you can just make out the edge of it is massively annoying. Reflectors people... has no one thought to put them on the front of trailers? It seems like a completely logical addition to me.

Anyway, it's nice to know all those things that you've seen your Dad do are not nearly as difficult as you think they are. I mean, it sure as hell ain't rocket-science. And judging from the morons who manage to do most of these things with ease, it's barely even high school science.

What century are we in again?

2009-05-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

I was in the mood for a good rant this evening, and then I realised that I haven't anything remotely akin to the passion it requires to maintain such a rant.

Then realisation struck me a second time, in the form of my scattered and incompetent mind. Considering that I can barely keep my thoughts in order to read the end of the vegan section of a menu, which generally consists of 2 items or less, I figured it best not to try my luck.

So I'll have to settle for a moderate ramble instead. Dear oh dear, whatever is to become of me?

I have been feeling vaguely environmentally inclined today (by that, I mean thinking about all the environmentally-sound things other people should be doing) and got just a mite stroppy with myself. As someone who claims to know a great deal about environmental issues and how we can contribute to the betterment of the planet, I find it exceedingly pathetic that I don't even have the gall to offer a modicum of my time to some worthy cause. It doesn't even have to be anything big. Local efforts would be equally valid.

And yet, I still don't make the time or expend the effort. Why is that, I wonder?

Perhaps it's got something to do with my fickle nature, at least for the present time, and the insurmountable number of interests that I already have or desire to attempt. It staggers me to consider how many things I want to learn/do/see/try in my life and the relatively short time in which I have to do them all. And prioritising doesn't work because I'll be super-interested in one thing for a while and then it's shiny-ness will be over-ridden by something else equally fascinating. So rather than stick at one thing until it's reached a satisfactory stage I'll jump from one to the next and back again until I'm giddy from the exertion.

I know, I'm so darn brilliant.

And speaking of brilliant, in the context of environmentalism, what is with the power-saving light-globes? I feel as though I'm living underwater most of the time, with the greenish hue of my surroundings distracting me from the reality that I'm not actually wet. Most disconcerting. Is there really no alternative to halogen other than fluorescence? I guess I'll just have to start wearing a mermaid's costume... that might be interesting. Nothing quite like a sack-race (yes, there are layers of dodginess in that remark - see how many you can discover!).

Seeing as my blog has returned, yet again, to bad sexual innuendo I probably ought to finish up (oh, it's going from bad to worse here...). It's clear, regarding all prior evidence (archived posts), that there is something very, very wrong with me. Or perhaps it's in that "so wrong it's right" category. Either way, it's a little disturbing.

Not stir-fry your mother with kittens disturbing.

More like, skipping down the street in your Nanna's best whilst wrapped in flashing Christmas lights... yes, that's about the right kind of disturbing.

Mmmmmm, I think I need more sleep.

Yay, it's nearly Monday! Woohoo!

2009-05-02T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hmmm, yes the weekend... what an interesting time it was. So much fun had by all.

We kicked off on Friday with a girl's night at Ms Ethony's beautiful house. Copious amounts of alcohol resulted in some impressive dance-moves to the likes of Lady Gaga and Britney Spears (I'd never actually listened to their music before, it was pretty fun), which progressed into a drinking game to the worst movie of the year - Twilight. That was a dangerous game to play because there are SO many bad things in it that you can't help but get COMPLETELY hammered. The death-stares were especially amusing. Oh and scary, constipated vampire face... that should be illegal it's so funny.

So two bottles of red wine, a bottle of champagne (all shared with Eth's sister) and some cock-sucking-cowboys later I was extraordinarily drunk. I blame the second bottle of wine for the rest of my night curled around a toilet bowl. Stupid damn wine.

My lovely girls looked after me though and I woke up in the morning on a comfy matress with the room still spinning and the dog licking my face. Mmmm dog-biscuity goodness. Not great when you can't actually move to push the dog away. Still, it was SOME action.

After a few hours my capacity to function kicked back in and I managed to hold some McDonald's Hotcakes down (blech, not vegan but at least no meat). We decided to watch Twilight again in a state of relative soberness while we gradually came back to life - and it was even funnier the next day. And I think I didn't hate it quite so much once I got used to the lameness of it. It's like brussel-sprouts - eventually they don't taste precisely like dog-piss, just dog-piss-esque. Actually, that's a rather astute analogy there for Twilight.

Eth and I went up to the hills for a bit of rejuvenation and incredible food as provided by the spectacular Amanda. I am still dreaming about the cinnamon and cardamon pilaf that she concocted.... nom nom, drool drool. We got into the second season of Queer As Folk and all was right with the world again :) Yay for Sunshine!

Finally made my way back home after a night-time stroll with Eth and her lovely puppy Giles, and a seriously smokey smudging of Eth's place (I can still smell white sage in my hair) - the poor girl will be choking on that stench for days now! Pretty much fell into bed when I arrived at my destination, utterly rooted after all of my varied shenanigans. And now it's off to another friend's place to help her move!

I'm beginning to look forward to the weekdays when I might get to have a rest :P Ah well, as Bon Jovi's cock-rock song says, "I'll sleep when I'm dead..."

Totally made of AWESOME!!!!

2009-04-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

This song is making me feel really great right now! I love Daft Punk :)

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh *happy sigh*

Samhain is pronounced "Sow-ain" people! Get it right

2009-04-30T10:08:00.001-07:00

Happy Samhain to all! I was lucky enough to have a Samhain celebration up at the Ashram tonight. One of the residents has a slightly pagan bent (and is a tantric practitioner) so she organised a ritual beneath the stars. It was very sweet, with a lovely open fire, pretty white flowers and pomegranates to encourage the festival attitude.

For those unfamiliar with the pagan sabbats, Samhain is one of eight sabbats on the Wheel of the Year on the 30th of April in the Southern Hemisphere or the 31st of October in the Northern Hemisphere. It is the time when the warm weather draws to a close and we prepare for the onslaught of cold, wintery weather. A night when the veil that separates the worlds of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest. So we honour our ancestors and loved ones who have passed beyond this world, and reflect upon the impermanence of life. It is a very introspective time.

I connected with my great-grandmother, who passed over at the age of 99 (4 months short of her 100th birthday). I had an affinity with her when I knew her - for a lady of many years she had so much life about her. She always had the funniest Scottish sayings that she would repeat regularly in Gaelic at nearly every family gathering. Oh and she always gave me $2 to get an icecream from the shop - which in the 80's was pretty darn generous :P

When she was admitted into a nursing home, after breaking her hip twice in a short time, I saw very little of her. I think seeing her in a wheel chair and amongst all these poor people suffering with dementia was so upsetting that I just couldn't bear to visit. I feel dreadful for having been so very selfish (I was in my teens) and really wish I'd spent more time with her and gotten to know her before she died.

Tonight I let her know how much I love and miss her, and I am sure she replied to me. Perhaps it's just me attempting to alleviate my guilt, but it felt too intense to be pretend. I could sense her warm, encompassing presence and could almost hear her voice. Whatever it was, real or imagined, I am glad of it.

Thanks Nanna, I love you <3

Ummm, do I have something on my face?

2009-04-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

Today was a fun day :) I went back to my old uni, Murdoch, and finally got my alumni library card and parking sticker - I did graduate in 2005 lol. It takes a while to get to some stuff, okay?

While I was there I wandered around and checked out some info on post-grad teaching, because that is to be my next plan. I was surprised at how much has changed at Murdoch. Considering I studied there for 9 years and a little bit changed in that time but not drastically, and then after 4 years of absence it's been transformed into this miniature city. The Library, which was a place I spent many hours (often sleeping in the Law Wing - no one goes there, it's great for a nap), is totally different. Honestly, it was almost exactly the same for 9 years and then it's all topsy turvey. And there's like this major road through the back section of Murdoch now, that is purely a campus road. Man, you turn your back for a measley 4 years...

I was pretty surprised to discover how much I'd missed the place and the multi-cultural, all ages and creeds kind of intellectual vibe. Oh, and the hot boys. I'm fairly excited that I'll be getting to return to that - uni, not the hot boys... well... haha. Just stop it.

I think I'm destined to be an eternal student. Little bit pathetic really. Or perhaps I'll end up one of those old professors who shuffles around the uni in my uniform of turtle-neck shirt and cream slacks with sensible shoes, telling students off for being too noisy.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I'll suffocate myself beneath piles of dusty tomes before I let that happen.

In bizarro but funny news, I was at a set of traffic lights waiting to turn when I could feel eyes upon me. Not particularly unusual, but it was that intense-staring sensation. So turning to my left, I looked across at the car next to me and this guy was just outright staring at me. Not even looking away when I looked, just blatantly staring. What do you do in response to that? So I turned up the stereo (Radiohead was playing) and just kept singing, trying my best to ignore this, clearly very tapped, dude in the car beside me. As soon as the lights turned green I was off like a shot, hopefully I grazed his eyeballs with my super-speed lol. Lame.

It was pretty funny now I think about it. Normal stuff just doesn't seem to happen to me :P

Miss, miss? What's a quark? The sound a duck makes... ba-dum-tish!

2009-04-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

I think I may be losing my mind. Or I have a slow leak somewhere at the back of my cranium. It's pretty irritating.

I've been reading up on some of the different theories and postulations relating to quantum mechnics (yes, the science-geekery is re-emerging) and now my head is swimming with Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, Bohr's Model, Copenhagen Principle and the Observer Effect, along with myriad others. It's just a little dizzying. Although it might be the electrons in the empty vacuum of my skull being pummeled by an excessive wavelength of photons... damn alien ray-guns.

Just to even things out I thought I'd read a bit of Deepak Chopra and his PATHETIC ravings on "mystical-quantum-reality" and "quantum healing". I don't know how his psuedo-scientific twaddle constitutes as worthy reading in anyone's book. If you're going to link science and mysticism then it might help to actually read some scientific research/articles. The bloke is seriously deluded, but it is hilarious reading. Almost as good as reading Doreen Virtue, PhD. I think perhaps they were separated at birth.

And, because I am not quite nerdy enough, I have also been revising some of the information I was force-fed at uni. Evolutionary science, to be more precise. It's been quite interesting to discover how little I actually learnt the first time I read it. Then again, it's entirely possible I just can't remember that whole period of time. I'm sure I've lost nearly a year of memories by now.

It's been fascinating, but I think maybe the art of packing my brain with all manner of informative snippets is not as well-learned as I had believed. Sitting here typing I can barely remember a bloody thing I read... hmm early-onset senility. Could be a problem.

Ah well, at least when I become a science teacher (hold me back from the excitement. No really.) all my answers will be in a special book and thinking will no longer be required. That's how the state schooling system works, isn't it? Oooh, burn!

Polly want a cracker?

2009-04-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

As I sit here racked with cramps, feeling queasy after having eaten a bunch of my son's hot chips (which were quite revolting by the way; yet, for some reason, I still ate them) and a couple of Freddo's (once again, ick) I am struggling to remember why it is that I enjoy being a woman... and then I remember: because we're awesome! Lol

But, seriously, ouchies! The panadol just don't cut it. And stupid bloody cravings... MEHHHHHHHH.

I had the pleasure of hanging at my friend Amanda's house, nestled in the glorious Perth Hills, yesterday and met her beautiful new greyhound. My gosh she is a gorgeous dog! She's from the Greyhound Rescue Society (I think that's what they're called) so she's 2 years old and has the sweetest temperament. I couldn't stop cuddling her. Awwwwww, cheek-squishing-cutesy-ness. Hee hee, I'm such a dork.

One of the most wonderful things about visiting Amanda is that (apart from spending quality time in her stellar company) she makes the MOST delicious and healthy food - all vegan-friendly too! Oh and we hang out in her garden watching the trees as they rustle in the breeze, listening to the birds twittering happily, chat about life, the universe, and everything, and then we watch some great movies (Sweeney Todd yesterday - damn awesome) or Queer As Folk. Our mutual obsession. Nothing hotter than cute boys getting it on... mmm hmm. Well, there might be something hotter... yes. But I won't go into that :P

Ummm, where was I? I'm distracted by gorgeous gay boys dancing in my head right now. Hmmm.

Nope. Totally lost that thread.

So, anyhow, it was lovely to escape from the craziness that is my life right now. Licks balls having to come back though. Ah well, won't be forever. Whinge whinge, whine whine. Boo-bloody-hoo. Drama-queen-itis keeps getting it's hooks into me.

Heh just munched a bunch of crackers then. I'm carb-loading like I'm a bleeding footy player! Shonky.

In other news, pants-monkeys are eating my brains....

Yes, it is weird, now you mention it. Not really the end you'd expect them to be associated with. That'll teach me to wear my pants on my head. Yah huh.

Super-happy-funtime...

2009-04-26T09:51:00.000-07:00

Hmmm an interesting weekend it has been.... yet again.

Sick for a good proportion of the time. Harassed by my parents and in-laws (at the same time) about why I was leaving my partner and how they thought my beliefs would be detrimental to my son. Oh and how I was throwing away my life and all that I had built just because of an absence of love. I mean HONESTLY?!!! This is the 21st Century people, not 1950. Really horrible stuff.

So today, needing an escape from all of that stress, I went to "In The Pines" music festival at UWA. It was really great. Good music, great vibes from the crowd. Met up with a bunch of really lovely people, and caught up with our new friend Tim that we met at the Amplifier last week, as well as some of his compadres. Hung with the beautiful Nic, which is always a pleasure. So all 'round a pretty wonderful day.

To top off the spectacularness of the day, I had dinner with some of my other favourite girlies and then headed to Burswood to see the INCREDIBLE Dylan Moran. What an amazing comedian he is! I SO needed a laugh after all of the ick that I've been dealing with. Finished the eve with a trip to The Moon - who really need to get some updated Xpress mags, slackers. Pretty darn good day.

Now all I need are some "super-happy-funtime" drugs (said with an angry Japanese-man sort of accent) and I'll be wonderful....

I imagine the ad goes something like this (once again with angry Japanese man yelling):

"You having super-happy-funtime yet??? You have fun or I kill you! Smile bitch. Put on happy face or I kill you! Stabby stabby with samurai sword. These are super-happy-funtime drugs! Have super-happy-funtime now!!! Buy super-happy-funtime pills. You have fun time or you die. Guaranteed."

Mmm hmm. I am so very warped right now.

Would you like a side-order of Tourette's with that?

2009-04-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

So I am sick, yet again. Yippee.

I've had this stupid throat infection for the last 2-3 months and it was starting to arc up again yesterday. Then I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "Damn, that was the retarded prelude to the extreme joy that a head-cold brings..." Well, actually, I was much less eloquent and it was more along the lines of, "F*cking, bl**dy, f*cking, crap, sh*t, f*ck, balls, cold." Because when I'm sick I obviously develop tourettes' syndrome.

I've had all manner of remedies suggested to me from echinacea and Waterberry's Compound (WTF?) to cold and flu tablets to boiled donkey scrotums (okay, I made that last one up), but have decided to go with my own tried and true methods of viral/bacterial erradication. Chilli, and lots of it! I just scarfed down about 20 or so slices of extra hot jalapenos (I like the saltiness of the pickled ones, it helps my throat) and burned the crud out of anything that was living in my trachea.

I used to take about half a teaspoon of wasabi until I sneezed one time and it lodged itself in my sinuses. Not the most fun in the world. But I could scent-track better than any bloodhound for about an hour afterwards. Comes in handy when you're trying to remember where you buried those bodies... ah... what?... I meant bones. Yes, bones. Of animals. Not humans. Yes.

So as I sit here typing away I am sipping at my vegetable broth that I concocted a brief while ago. Another remedy. If you're interested the ingredients are as follows:

2 x Massel vegetable stock cubes (or any without artificial enhancers), salt, cracked pepper, good handful of dried sage, rosemary, 2 x tablespoons of tomato paste, crushed garlic, rolled oats, cannellini beans, cabbage, potatoes, carrots, shitake mushrooms.

Usually I'd throw a bit of chilli powder in as well, but I'm clean out of the stuff :( It's really one of those things that you throw whatever you have in the pantry into and hope it turns out alright. So far so good.

Hopefully it will help me to dredge some energy from somewhere, and perhaps some vocal capacity, so that I can teach yoga this afternoon. I'm sure it will be fine, I have taught in much worse states. I just feel sorry for the students having to listen to me ramble for several minutes before I become slightly coherent.... ah well, they ought to be used to that by now lol.

Time for a refill... mmmm, cannellini-beany-shitake-soupy goodness. Nom nom nom.

Black Sabbath and busted tyres

2009-04-20T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, what a weekend! Clearly. It's taken me until Tuesday to have the energy to write about it

All manner of weird and wonderful hijinks of a very amusing nature kept me occupied. I had actually expected a horrendous beginning to it, with the joys of separation couselling, but was pleasantly surprised when it went remarkably well. I feel so relieved. And now I can imagine things moving in the direction I've been longing for them to go. Which totally rocks.

Speaking of rocking, I went to the Amplifier Bar on Saturday night with one of my lovely girlfriends and had the most awesome of times. I don't think I've been there before (although my memory is generally pretty hazy) and the music was EXACTLY my kind of music! Great classics from the 60's and 70's like The Doors, The Animals, Black Sabbath, Hendrix and the list goes on.... Excellent songs from the Cure and Depeche Mode era... Contemporary alt/indie music that rocks my socks off. Just all 'round top music.

Met some great people too, which was lovely. I always like meeting new people. This dude that we befriended was really fun and, man, could he dance! Actually, there were quite a few boys at the joint with excellent moves. Rather impressive I have to admit. Makes me want to brush-up on my dancing skills - I was definitely being shown-up by all and sundry.

After getting home at around 5.30-6am I didn't sleep a wink. Stupid drinks with their damn caffeine/sugar. So, frustrated with non-sleep, I got up at 9am and started ginning around my friends' house trying to figure out where things were and not feel like I was roadkill recently scraped off the asphalt. Pretty difficult task on all counts.

Eventually got my shit together and hopped into the car to head to Miss Ethony's house. Driving down the street I noticed that there was something very wrong with my car; it kept pulling oddly to the right and sounded like there was a bag of starving cats under the bonnet. So I headed back up the street towards my friend's house just in case I needed to call the RAC and required a place to wait. Pulled up on the verge, checked the oil - empty - so I filled it; checked the water - empty - so I filled it too. Thought to myself, "Yep, that should do it. Damn I'm good with cars..." Gave it some time to warm up, cleverly reasoning that it would require a few minutes for the oil to re-lubricate the engine (yep, I know cars alright), then drove carefully up the street.

Damn it! The stupid thing was doing it again. The only option was to pull over and call the RAC, so I pulled into the gravel driveway of a primary school and parked the car. Getting out of the car, I looked down at the front right-hand-side tyre and realised it was completely flat. Oh yep, I know cars. Couldn't bloody figure out that the screeching noise was the freakin' tyre rim on the road. Brilliant.

So I popped the boot, evacuated all of the random stuff stashed in there to the back seat of the car, and removed the spare tyre, jack and lug wrench. Yes, I know the terminology. Shocking. So I set to work, after laying a blanket on the gravel (I wasn't about to get my clothes all feral for this stupid car!), propping the jack in the correct position beneath the car and proceeded to jack the thing up. It was at about this time that a very kind man from over the road came to help me. Which was actually lucky.

Realising that the gravel was not giving the greatest traction for jacking a several tonne car up into the air I was beginning to wonder how I'd back the car out onto the road. But with two people the car could be secured and the stupid bloody piss-weak tyre changed. All's well that ends well :)

So thanking the lovely man, who replied with a gruff, "Yep, yep, no worries. Seeya" in typical Aussie fashion, I was on my merry way. Back down the road to pick up the fallen hub-cap that I had previously noticed in the rear-view mirror, thinking, "Oh dear, someone will be missing that..."

Yep. Good one, dickhead.

My Little Pony Died...

2009-04-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I've finally put my most recent song up on You Tube. It is very wrongtown indeed, but I find it amusing so I imagine others will too.

If you grew up in the late 70's and/or 80's then it may return you to a time previously forgotten... or perhaps intentionally supressed.

Just beware - there is some "saucy" language in it, as my grandmother would say.

I'm off to smoke some crack now...

Insomnia... Binary solo 000000110000001100110011

2009-04-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

So it's 3am and I can't blood sleep!

What do you do when insomnia hits?

Why wander through the magickal sounds and sights that is You Tube, of course.

For your viewing pleasure....

Yep, it's been a Flight of the Concords insomniatic trip!

Sing this, ya bastard!

2009-04-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm a little bit out of sorts today.

My soon to be ex (well, technically he already is but I'm still stuck in the house with him) took it upon himself to comment on the subject of my vocal stylings this evening, suggesting that I consider singing lessons because he thought my voice was too nasal. He did say it a little more diplomatically - well marginally more - but it still offended me. I don't know why.

I was under the, perhaps deluded, impression that I had a relatively good voice. I generally use the nasal-style singing for a particular purpose, but not on a regular basis. However, it has still made me feel very self-conscious about it. Pathetic that his opinion can get under my skin so easily.

Although I have to admit I've been singing pretty badly ever since I acquired this oh-so-wonderful throat infection. Close to 2 months now of skanky goodness. Mmmmm lovely. I should probably go back to the doctor's and force some more antibiotics down my throat. Gross.

Argh, I'm so annoyed about this. I've had so many people compliment me on my singing (and not even under duress - I mean, you don't need to tell the yoga teacher that she sings well. It's just really sweet when they do) that when all it takes for me to doubt myself is another person's criticism it grates on me. And I actually quite like the way that I sing. I'm the narcissistic type who listens to myself quite regularly; and I'm my harshest critic.

I'm certain to be over it all by the morning, but right now I'm dark as.

Oh well, I think it's time for this little black duck to build a friggin' bridge and get over it. Geez, talk about melodramatic.